By My Side

vacation? what's a vacation?

2012-02-17T14:51:00.000-05:00

Earlier this week I made the decision to try to slow down a bit and take some time off in the next couple of months. Do more things with my own dogs, find the joy in what I do again, you know, have some fun. It's all well and good to say it, but, oi, me actually doing that is a whole 'nother animal as this week has proved. Too many self-appointed projects that I become immersed in for hours and days on end. I'm exhausted! Really what I need is to send my laptop on a vacation to somewhere far, far away! LOL

Today though I made my own version of this curry chicken pot pie. OMG AWESOME!! I want to eat the whole thing NOW and it is taking considerable self-restraint to not! My version used no coconut of any kind, but millet, buckwheat and tapioca flours instead, soy free earth balance and rice milk. My version also used no onions, zucchini or raisins and the root vegetables I chose were sweet potatoes, carrots and parsnips. I had really wanted to try turnips but the only ones the grocery store had today were coated in wax, ewe!! I am so looking forward to the meals this will make in the coming days and will probably make batch #2 as soon as I finish the 1st!

Crock pot chicken- OMG so good!!

2012-02-09T18:27:00.000-05:00

I generally don't eat chicken because I don't really like it unless prepared in ways that are so far off my list now it's not even funny, but yesterday I got the notion to try roasting a chicken in the crock pot. So bright and early yesterday morning Tom and I set off to Shaws to get a chicken and other ingredients and this morning I made it in time for lunch. WOW did it come out good!! And the simplest thing is tonight, over night, I'm going to make soup stock in the crock pot so I can have chicken and millet soup all week which I DO like! YAY!

Crock pot Chicken:

1 ~5# whole chicken

4 large carrots, peeled and sliced into ¼” pieces

4 parsnips, peeled and sliced into ¼” pieces

Ms Dash’s original season blend, salt free

Sea salt to taste

Wash and pat dry with paper towel the whole chicken (remove gizzards!!)

Stuff cavity with some of the carrots and parsnips

Sprinkle generous amount of Ms Dash and some salt on the chicken

Place chicken breast side up in crock pot

Arrange remainder of carrots and parsnips on top and also sprinkle with Mrs Dash

Cover crockpot and cook on low for 8hrs or high for 4hrs, do not remove the lid, just let it cook!

After crock pot time is up, take chicken and veggies in the crock pot pan and put the whole thing in oven set at 350’F for 20min to crisp the skin

Remove from oven, take chicken out of drippings and put on plate and let rest for 10min (chicken will be falling off the bone tender)

Cut up and enjoy! :-)

Thoughts on autism

2012-02-09T09:35:00.000-05:00

The more self aware and in tune to my body I become the more I realize just how severe the discord is between what an environment that my system would thrive in would be like compared to current modern reality. It really makes me stop and wonder if the techno crazed world we have created for ourselves is really the driving force behind the upsurge in sensory problems for so many people.

I have been contemplating lately what exactly I would have to do to make my environment truly "sensory friendly" and address the underlying and overwhelming fatigue that I live with. And the solution I repeatedly come back to is- eliminate as many man-made processes, objects and services as possible. My CNS really entirely hates humanity's created artificial world.

TV and radio I eliminated years ago. Lights, at home, I rarely turn on and when I do they are incandescent, never florescent. The dishwasher I never even remember is an option since I never turn it on. The washer and dryer are in the basement, but still there are days when even that is an issue. Ideally I would need to take it further- unplug the fridge, cancel my phone service, unplug the modem and toss out the computer. Move to a street with low traffic and a house very far off the beaten path, most likely in the middle of the woods. Avoid traveling in the car or on public transit, some boat travel would be ok if it was row or sail, no motorized travel.

That's the world I would need to create to truly tackle the fatigue I live with. And that's a pretty tall order. Maybe someday I'll get there, guess it depends on how tired I really get and what other costs become associated with it, but right now it's not a new reality I'm willing to accept or really consider.

It does though make me think a lot about families with autistic children and how much the parents really understand the ramifications that technology are having on their kid's behavior and ability to function. I was very lucky in my childhood, my parent's unwittingly created a very low sensory stimulation for their children at home. TV time was limited to 30min a day, we read lots of books, played lots of board games and were kicked outdoors to have fun on a daily and very regular basis. We didn't have gameboy or Nintendo, a computer didn't enter the house until I was nearly a teenager and then it didn't have internet for a few years more. Life was sensory simple and that is probably a large driving factor on why no one figured out I was autistic at a young age. Just makes me wonder, how many problems we are creating for ourselves and our children with the plugged-in to tech, instead of plugged-in to nature, world we have devised.

training, guide work and other things

2012-02-08T06:34:00.001-05:00

The concept of "sometimes" often comes up when I'm talking to students about dog training and it's a trap I fall into myself upon occasion. How dogs have a challenge understanding that grey area that comes about with sometimes, sometimes getting on the couch is ok, sometimes it's not. Sometimes sitting ignoring you when you ask me to sit is ok, sometimes it's not. Sometimes pulling on the lead is allowed, sometimes it's not. "Sometimes."

People put a lot of value it seems into "sometimes" when it comes to behavior and then like to make value judgements when their dog behaves exactly as they have trained him to with the sometimes criteria. "He knows how to sit! He's just being stubborn!" No, you have not been consistent with follow through on teaching your dog to generalize 'sit' and also with being consistent on follow through that a sit, is a sit, is a sit, all the time.

For example with Tom lately, I hadn't quite realized just how "sometimes" my asking him to reliably clear right side obstacles had become. Sometimes it was ok for him to brush me up against a bush, sometimes it was not. This sometimes criteria caused, over a few months, Tom to begin to disregard that right side obstacles needed any clearance at all, an understanding of his that I didn't quite realize until on a walk the other day 4 things in a row he plowed me into, a couple of which hurt! Was Tom being deliberately sloppy or lazy or a bad guide dog? No, he was doing exactly as I had trained him. My criteria and definition of what "right side obstacle clearance" meant was sloppy, grey and "sometimes." It wasn't consistent and wasn't clear to Tom exactly what I wanted, I am the one who taught him to disregard right clearances, it wasn't Tom's fault in the least!

So, I shored up my definition of what I wanted Tom to understand, we reworked the obstacles in that moment and since I have been very consistent with him on what exactly I'd like him to do when we approach a right side obstacle. Since my definition has now become concrete, Tom has been spot on and he has had a much easier time of successfully doing what I want him to do.

Dogs generally think in the concrete terms of- this behavior works or it doesn't work. "Sometimes it works" doesn't really make sense to them. Having a criteria of "sometimes it works" just creates a dog who is an eternal optimist. A dog who says, "This worked on a sometimes, ie random to the dog, basis and I really enjoyed that it worked, so I am going to be eternally hopeful that it will work again and keep trying." Ergo in the dog's mind it really a behavior that "works," he just doesn't know exactly when it will again, so much like a gambler at the penny slots, he will continuously be hopeful that if he keeps at it, he'll "win" once again.

Fun with Shaping

2012-02-05T08:25:00.000-05:00

For the past number of months I've been working with a teenage girl who aspires to be a dog trainer. Lately we've been working on the concepts of clicker training and shaping behavior and I give her challenges to shape Niche and Monty to do. It's really fun and amazing to watch how differently the 2 dogs learn.

Niche has been clicker trained since I got him at age 8wks. His idea of "training" is fast, intense and to throw out every single thing he could possible think might earn him a click all in about the span of a half second. With Niche the challenge is precision because he moves so quickly and forcefully that one has to be spot on in order to get him to do something crisply. Getting Niche to hold the same behavior for a prolonged period of time is also a challenge. The easy thing about Niche is that he is a work-a-holic. It takes a lot to make Niche quit.

Monty, on the other hand, has had very little shaping experience. When we 1st started working with Monty on these exercises the behavior he liked to repeatedly offer was spin in a clockwise circle or jump up on my leg. Oh and 'sit.' Monty moves at a much slower pace than Niche and he is more deliberate. It is easier to catch him repeating the same behavior because of this. But like Niche, Monty is a pretty quick study.

One thing that we have begun discussing because of these shaping challenges is "good" vs "bad" in training and behavior. I've tried to instill that there is no good or bad behavior, only criteria. When shaping, the more precise and defined your criteria, the easier it is for the dog to understand and be right. That dogs don't deliberately do things to be 'bad' or 'good', they do things that get them reinforcement, and what they want out of life or things that relieve stress, pain or fear.

All behavior has a reason, and it's our job as trainers to figure out that reason and attempt to understand it. Simply because we may not appreciate our dog doing a certain behavior, doesn't mean the dog is bad or being bad. It just means that we haven't carefully defined and set what behavior we would appreciate more and made a point to reinforce, encourage and train that. In that same token, just because a dog is doing a behavior we do appreciate, doesn't mean the dog is good, it just means he is doing something that we find valuable and have made a point to encourage and reinforce.

Behavior is what works in the moment, it doesn't have judgement. There is no good or bad behavior, only criteria.

texture cravings aka back to gluten free cookie making!

2012-01-30T11:56:00.000-05:00

I swear my texture cravings are a stress thing. Other people get chocolate cravings when they're stressed, I get texture ones. All in a day with a weird sensory system. This weekend was stress, today is stress, despite that it's my self appointed vacation week, so this morning was cookie making time! I adapted a sugar cookie recipe I had in my recipe files to make ginger cinnamon cookies and they came out good!

Recipe for Ginger Cinnamon Cookies was such:

Beat with electric mixer:
1/4c soy free earth balance
1/4c grape seed oil
3/4c sugar
1 egg

In a small bowl combine:
1c brown rice flour
1/2c potato flour
1/2tsp baking powder
1/2tsp ground cinnamon
1tsp ground ginger
1/4tsp psyllium husk

Slowly beat dry ingredients into wet, then chill in covered bowl in fridge for 1hr. Once dough is chilled, roll out on floured surface then cut with cookie cutters and bake in 350'F oven. My recipe said they should bake 5-8min, but in my oven they baked for more like 15. Let cool on rack then enjoy!!

The Things I Learn

2012-01-22T19:43:00.000-05:00

I've decided to try implementing some new life changes, as I try to accept my limitations. The biggest one has been to go through my calendar and actually block out "Downtime on the couch" twice a day, every day. Downtime where I set the kitchen timer, go lie down on the couch and not allow myself to do anything until that timer goes off. I started this 3 days ago and I have quickly come to realize that honestly, I generally have no bloody clue or accurate way to gauge just how exhausted I am all of the time.

About 15min into my downtime, I go- Shit, I'm tired. And taking a break actually becomes a welcome relief. I'm so used to pushing myself all the time to do things and to function that just how tired I am never makes it to my radar until I'm so tired I can no longer function.

The past 3 days my downtime block has been a timed 45 or 60min, but really I'm thinking maybe that need to be more like 2hrs twice a day. With just an hour, when the timer goes off I'm still bloody exhausted and then trying to get back into functioning mode is a distinct challenge.

My hope is that by taking more routine and regulated breaks, my sleeping pattern will improve and overall I'll be able to function better with fewer crashes and new issues cropping up long term. Time will tell if that happens, but one can cross fingers and hope.

Training Tom

2012-01-19T09:06:00.000-05:00

This post is for the Assistance Dog Blog Carnival hosted by Dog Star Academy

As an instructor who teaches competition level dog training classes, I feel it's important to keep my skills up as a trainer and have dogs with competition level skills. I also find myself falling back to my own dogs occasionally in my teaching to demonstrate skills and behaviors that can be difficult for students to visualize. For the past number of years Niche has been my go-to demo dog, as James and Regal were before him. Niche, alas is aging, in March this year he'll be 8 years old. My history with my flat coats at that age isn't all that great and what I'm going to do when I no longer have Niche as my go-to dog has been flitting through my mind.

I've thought about getting another flat coat puppy, which I would love to do and will some day again, but right now and really for the next 2 years it just wouldn't be feasible to add a puppy to the mix of my life. Monty, after the brief back scare we had last year and the additional of his brother going down in the back since then, I am hesitant to do more agility training with and really, most often, that's where my demo dog needs lie.

When I first got Tom, I had immediately discounted ever teaching him to be an agility dog. My main concern was his conformation and weak rear end. He's majorly cow hocked and puts all of his forward drive into his front end, not his rear. Asking him to safely jump is not something I'm willing to do with him. But, the other day, my mum and I were chatting and she brought up a good point, that, for what I need in a demo dog, he doesn't have to do jumps or contacts, he just has to respond to my handling, direction and crosses to show the skills needing description. I have hoops, gates, cones and jump uprights with bars on the ground. I set courses using only those for students on a fairly frequent basis when we are working on certain skills. Tom can safely do those and agility training may even help build his agility and give him more confidence in how he moves as currently he is very freight train like and can't get out of his own (or another dog's) way often times when playing in the yard.

Tom is also a young dog. He's only 2 and very intelligent. He is getting bored only being a guide dog and I think will really enjoy learning new things. Training for any dog can help enhance the bond and relationship one has with that dog, and most dogs really love interacting with their owner doing something different and fun. Keeping Tom entertained and really happy has been a challenge and obstacle lately. There are only so many places we can walk near our home and with snow coming, our outings will become severely limited. Learning different and new skills will challenge his mind and hopefully keep him happy this winter.

This morning, we braved the cold in the yard to begin training. We worked on switch on the flat, I introduced Tom to hoops and began to teach him how a start line stay in agility is different than the stay he already knows. The type of training and thinking I was asking Tom to do was, based on his response, probably different than any type of thinking he'd ever done before in such a setting. He was a very good boy though and I think had a very good time. We will continue to work this winter and hopefully by spring Tom will have the beginnings of a skill set to be my next demo dog. The obstacle of what to do to keep Tom the happy, willing guide dog and what do to when Niche can no longer be my demo dog, will hopefully be overcome by training Tom.

2012- acceptance and gratitude

2012-01-17T05:14:00.000-05:00

With the changes in my nervous system and functioning level in the past few months, I find myself revisiting a theme of needing to find acceptance and struggling to be grateful for what I have, not what I am loosing. This past week alone, I've started, then scrapped, countless blog posts; scrapped simply because I continuously find myself focusing on the negative and what I don't have, which isn't where I want my thoughts to lie.

I'm not one for New Year's resolutions, and that's not what this post is about. It's more about a desire to hold myself accountable for change that I wish to see happen in my life. Generally if I verbalize something and really think about the words I want to use to express what I want, I'll think about it more and change is sometimes easier to make happen.

This week I'm trying to accept that I have limitations that impact my ability to work and do my job in the ways that I would prefer. The limitations aren't my fault, they're no one's fault, they're just a result of a disabled nervous system. And I'm trying to remind myself to be grateful that I am able to work at all and that even with limits on my career I am still able to reach and make change for many dogs and improve their relationships with the people in their lives.

Never would have guessed

2012-01-05T08:07:00.000-05:00

I never would have guessed that Tom would be a dog who really likes wearing a coat. He was so visibly thrilled about it made me laugh. Amazingly enough the coat my gram and I made for Jess last winter was slightly too big for Tom, so yesterday morning I got out the scissors and a needle and thread and adjusted it to fit his chest better. Yesterday here in MA temps went from mid 40s (maybe higher I'm not sure) the day before to -2'F at 8am, COLD! Tom desperately wanted his usual walk as on Tue we hadn't taken it, plus I had a number of errands and appointments to get to yesterday so I put the coat on Tom, a coat on me and off we went. Tom pranced along the entire route (well until he realized we were going home and then he was put out, "What we're not staying out longer?! COME ON!! *grump!*"), happy as a clam in his coat. He looked pretty stylish as well, though I do have to say periwinkle isn't quite his color. LOL

agility trial

2012-01-03T08:31:00.000-05:00

Lest you not think poor Niche has been set aside and forgotten, on New Year's Eve we went to a local NADAC agility trial and had a really good time. We were entered in 4 runs but only stayed for 3 as my body has a limit on time that it can successfully spend in the soccer arena where the trial was held. Niche really is an amazing performance dog. He just so very much loves me and loves doing things for and with me; he lets me get away with incredibly lackadaisical training at this point in his life and he still performs above bar every single time for me.

We had an off course in both Regular (well 1st he fell off the dog walk, it had brand new rubber on it that was incredibly sticky) and Chances, but our elite Touch N Go run was lovely. Q and a 1st in a very large and competitive 20+" class. Believe we ran it at 4.96YPS, he was smoking. Chances his run actually was gorgeous, I knew the off course was coming the second he took a wide turn off the directional challenge, I could have salvaged the missed hoop but having a flowing, good feeling run that was pretty was more important than the Q.

The trial with Niche, my mum, my students and my agility friends was a great way to ring in the new year.

Puppies, puppies, puppies

2012-01-01T19:41:00.000-05:00

I have 2 clients with long term puppy projects that I've been working with and one of them went out of the country for the holidays so her puppy came to stay with me for 10 days. He went home today around lunch time and at 3pm I stopped, looked at my dogs and thought, "Oh wow, how nice, I haven't had to take a dog outside 10 times an hour in the past 3 hours! This is lovely!" One forgets just how much work caring for a puppy properly is. I was sick and really not feeling well for a good chunk of the time he was here, didn't really start to feel human until Thurs of this week, so poor pup did get a bit short cheated with me, but he seemed no worse for wear.

Having the puppy here made me laugh at what a retriever snob Tom is. Which cracks me up even more because he was raised with a basset hound. When I had the corgi litter here and then Spotty-dot for an extra few weeks, Tom refused to speak with them. He avoided them at all costs, wanted nothing to do with them, and often times sulked on his dog bed in the bedroom when any of the puppies were loose in the house. He also refused to speak with Julie's corgi puppy, Irie, when she was here a few weeks ago. Now the puppy I had here this past week was a retriever puppy and Tom couldn't have been more cordial and the wonderful benevolent uncle dog. Tom let that puppy get away with MURDER. He'd lie by the couch on the floor, the puppy would sit on him and chew on Tom's feet. Tom would just smile. They'd play bitey face, they'd play puppy tag in the yard, Tom would let the puppy take his bone or toys right out of his mouth. Really night and day from the response he had to the corgi puppies.

Next month the other puppy client is probably going to come stay with me for a bit of time. That puppy is a Bernese Mountain Dog so I'm curious to find out what Tom's response will be. Will he continue to be a retriever snob or is he just anti-corgi?

Happy New Year

2012-01-01T08:32:00.000-05:00

2011 has overall been a good year here. It started last year with James' passing on the 1st, a year ago today, which, though sad, was not traumatic. He knew what was going on and he told me it was okay, so it was. February was a bit rocky with some trauma with Jess, but the month also had the positive of my starting to research, track and link my food intolerances to my migraines. Just days before I went to train with Tom on May 1st I'd eliminated gluten as well as the high tyramine foods and then for the 1st time in close to 15 years, I went months and months without a single headache!

Speaking of May, in mid-April I got the best phone call of the year- the call to head out to Long Island to attend Team Training at the Guide Dog Foundation. I was given a very short 2wks notice, rearranged my life, arranged dog care for Niche and Monty, hopped on a ferry and was matched with Tom. I recently wrote Tom's puppy raiser a letter and in it I told her that in the past half year I've lived and worked with Tom, there hasn't been even one thing about him behaviorally that I've learned, discovered or experienced that I haven't liked. He's just a wonderful dog and I love him so much.

Also in the 1st 6m of 2011, I went through Occupational Therapy treatments for my sensory processing disorder. Though the jury is still out on how successful the OT treatments themselves were, they did encourage and force me to reevaluate and rethink a number of thinks I was doing that were contributing to my sensory problems. By changing a good number of life habits, the remaining 6months of 2011 have gone extremely well overall from a sensory overload and fatigue stand point. My CNS still had it's issues this fall, as it always does, but they began a month later than usual, and my system adjusted to the seasonal changes at a much quicker rate than in previous years.

This summer went very well for me. The adjusting my diet to treat my headaches also had the added effect of treating my fibromyalgia symptoms in a big way. I also discovered the link between cane sugar and my sensory problems. It never ceases to amaze me just how greatly one's diet can impact their life. And it's amazing what a different person everyone tells me I am now that I'm not huge amounts of chronic pain all of the time. I feel so much better, my attitude towards life is so much better, I look great and really life itself is so much easier to live.

Work this year was very busy but also challenging. I had a number of difficult cases, some of which ended up being really great successes. I love my job, I love the clientele I work with, my students are some of the best people I know and could ever want as clients. I love working with people who care so much about their animals and are willing to go to such lengths to do right by their dog in whatever way necessary.

For a year in review, 2011, really was a great year for me. My dogs are happy and healthy, I am happy and as healthy as I'll probably ever get, and my family and friends I value so much and are such a great support system. I hope that 2012 goes as well, if not better, and that everyone has a great new year as well.

Fascinating

2011-12-29T19:25:00.000-05:00

I think I'm a guide/service dog equipment geek. Today was our trip to the guide dog harness maker trying to find a handle that both Tom and I can happily use, and whoa that man is such a wealth of knowledge. The 1st time I met him, during the home training portion of my team training, I was amazed and floored by all that he told us and the same experience again today. I love listening and learning about the different designs and modifications that equipment has made over the years and how it is continuously evolving. It is just fascinating.

The end result of today's trip was that the handle Tom and I would both want hasn't yet been created. BUT the craftsman is going to work on designing and creating it if he can. So he said in about a month we may have it. Crossing fingers.

bowling with the fam

2011-12-28T20:38:00.000-05:00

My father is on a work bowling league and it is hysterical. How my father's love of teams and team sports missed all of his kids, we'll never know, but this is now his 3rd season and he loves it. It cracks my sisters and I up. This afternoon my sister drove me to an appointment I had, then we met up with my parents at the local candle pin alley. I don't bowl, for one I'm incredibly bad at it and really it's just not my thing. So Tom and I watched my sister and father bowl for a bit, then decided to go take a walk to meet my mum at an appt she had at the hospital up the street.

Tom and I haven't taken a night walk since training at GDF. I really do not like walking at night. Psychologically it freaks me out and because of the sensory component of lights of on coming traffic and street lights, I don't see well at night. Tom though was great. Lately I've really noticed on our routine walks that he's been very careful in taking account when I'm physically able to walk our normal quick pace and when, for whatever reason, I need him to turn it down a notch and he's been adjusting his pace accordingly with no prompting from me. Tonight he was wonderful at adjusting to my needs and making me feel safe. We had a good, safe walk to find my mum then walked back to the alley with her.

We had a good evening with the family, now to hopefully get a better night's sleep than as of late as tomorrow is a busy day.

Perspective

2011-12-26T11:41:00.002-05:00

Two holidays and a wedding complete and no migraines! Pretty damn awesome!

Fun Weekend

2011-12-19T15:47:00.000-05:00

It's 3:30pm Monday and I'm still in recovery mode but my sister's wedding was a lot of fun. I shocked the socks off a whole bunch of people by having a good time dancing, it was fun and I guess not very like me. Tom enjoyed Maine but he found the wedding itself to be a bit too much when people started getting a little wild on the dance floor so I decided to give him a break in my parent's car until I was ready to go back to the bed and breakfast where we were staying. He was much happier in the car. He did though very much enjoy the long walk through town the morning of and also getting to be Mr People Pleaser Social the evening before at the rehearsal dinner in the house my sister rented. We had a good time, but I, and a lot of other people, are all praying that when my other sister gets married, she chooses a place significantly closer to home!

changing up the blog

2011-12-14T10:12:00.001-05:00

December is in the midst. My attitude towards the current has been getting progressively worse, as generally happens this time of year, and can be seen from recent posts. It's a combination of things from the yearly seasonal nervous system reconfigurations and resulting health issues, to work being slow and the holidays. This year it's just my luck that both Christmas and New Years fall on weekends as well as my sister's wedding falls on a weekend. This equates to me making no money for the month of December 2011 as weekends are when I work the most, which is adding to my stress.

I realized a week or so ago that it's been a good six plus months since I've painted. For most of that time it was because work was very busy and I was immersed in my cases. Now it's because I'm apathetic to the present and nothing I've seen has inspired me. I decided to put as the header on the blog a painting I did of my 1st flat coat's brother, a dog named Seeber. It's titled "Peasant Dreams" as it was Seeber's last hunt before he died from bone cancer and is of him coming straight at the viewer, cock pheasant full in his jaws, with the pheasant's brightly colored reds, organges, yellows and browns of the feathers, Seeber's brown ears flying and a background of greens. The blog background and theme colors have changed to deep reds. I need to start finding the joy in things again, perhaps Seeber will inspire me.

Abysmal Failure

2011-12-10T17:31:00.000-05:00

That was my baking attempt at sugar cookies today- abysmal failure. Complete and utter failure. It was such a massive depressing let down when they came out of the oven looking picture perfect, I let them cool, took a bite of one and went- "What the hell happened?!" Seriously they tasted like sweetened bread or some that actually ended up somewhat crunchy tasted like sweetened Pringles. They were so all wrong texture wise that I didn't even want to eat them. I pawned them off on the guys in my father's shop. This is like the never ending story of my forays into "Katrin Safe" baking- failure. I came so close to getting a ginger snap I wanted but the only ones (out of many batches) that came close to what I wanted involved cane sugar and wound up making me sick. I just want a crunchy cookie. A friend, who has worse food limitations than I, sent me a recipe today for chocolate chip cookies that she says end up a bit crunchier than chips ahoy. I can't have the chocolate or a chocolate substitute, so when I get out of the current, "Food and cooking are so not worth the let down" mentality I'll try making those as a sugar cookie. My sister's wedding is next weekend and there are going to be very limited things I can eat and I just wanted something that I could munch on when everyone else was eating cake. I had hopes that today's cookies would be that. But not so. I really don't know how people who have severe food limitations get into cooking and find they enjoy it. I know people do, but I find putting time and energy into cooking something only to then have it be a major let down to be massively discouraging. It's not even worth it. Food isn't even enjoyable, it's just become an unpleasant life necessity.

When ignorance can be bliss

2011-12-07T06:32:00.000-05:00

I really should not have looked up the possible causes for the optic neuritis diagnosis I got on Monday. Really shouldn't have, at all. I've been ignoring the fact that I haven't been seeing things in my right eye peripheral vision for the past 6 months, I had been just chalking it up to another weird sensory quirk. Last month I had another scare with a car that I didn't see (but Tom did, thankfully) so decided to go to the eye dr, who ordered an exam and visual field test. And visual field test says, "yup you're not seeing stuff," but exam said "we don't know why." So now next week I have to have an MRI and the dr ordered blood work that is testing for pretty much all of the potential things that can cause this. I'm trying to be of the mentality that the tests won't show anything and this will just be another weird issue I'll be dealing with, as the huge part of me is going, "Really, I do NOT want to be dealing with MS or lupus or anything like that!!"

In dog news, Monty didn't break his toe, probably just sprained it. Dr B prescribed some good pain drugs which have been keeping him happy, which we are all thankful for! And he's gained 2 pounds! 2 more to go and he'll be back at his usual 32 fighting weight. And yesterday I was once again reminded exactly why I wanted a dog from the Guide Dog Foundation. My field rep was scheduled to come back and visit Tom and I to follow up on the handle change this Thursday. He called yesterday to see how things were going and I told him about how Tom really likes the off-set handle but my body absolutely hates it. I told him about the modifications I'd made to the handle grip to try to keep my fingers from locking up and the rotator cuff strengthening exercises my dr had given me to try to prevent me from wrecking my shoulder for good. D said he wasn't happy with that, as the last thing they want is me not able to work my dog because my shoulder is busted. So he made some phone calls to the Foundation and the harness maker that G and I went to during home training and, long story short, D and I will once again be visiting the harness maker next Tue to try to get me the right equipment that both Tom and I can use safely! I mean seriously the Foundation has so gone out of their way to try to make sure Tom and I are going to be successful long term and for that I am incredibly grateful. Just a great program that I'm glad to be a client of.

7, really?

2011-12-05T08:21:00.000-05:00

Today is the Mont-ster's birthday. Can't believe he's 7. Where has time gone? Today he's in a rather foul, ouchy, grouchy mood because he's hurt his foot, so his birthday will involve a vet appointment and probably x-ray tonight, poor fellow. Hopefully they'll give him some good pain meds and he'll be in a better mood tomorrow. I know he will say, "What is this kind of injustice?! 2 vet appointments in a week?! And on my birthday?!!" as last week he had to go to the vet for his annual heart worm test. Though actually good things for him came out of that as I learned he was waaaaay too skinny and he's been on a "get fat" diet for the past week which he very much enjoys and his mood (until he busted up his foot) has been significantly improved as a result. He's been getting a good amount of Canine Caviar's canned Beaver to add some calories into his diet. That stuff is over 740 calories a can! Crazy! But he loves it. So to my dear Monty-dog- I love all of your little grouchy self and here is to many more years. :-)

Tom's Day Out

2011-12-01T07:38:00.000-05:00

Lately Tom (and me as well, quite honestly) has been getting a bit bored with our walks around town. Wednesdays are my day off, and though I often have non-work related appointments to attend to on Wed, yesterday my schedule was free and clear, so rather on a whim Tom and I decided to hop on the commuter rail and spend the afternoon in Boston. We picked up some discounted museum passes at the library before leaving as well as looking up the map of the Freedom Trail on-line. I had my MBTA card and blackberry GPS so we were set for some good cheap fun and we did have a really good time.

Once we got to South Station first we picked up the Red Line to get to Boston Common to start the Freedom Trail. After getting fairly turned around and not able to figure out how to actually get out of the Common, we found the Information Desk and a lovely docent was nice enough to walk us out of the park and get us on our way. So we walked along, I was so focused on trying not to loose the trail that I don't actually really know where it took us other than through the North End! We followed the trail until we reached that really modern suspension bridge that would take us to the USS Constitution and decided not to go that far, so instead pulled up the GPS app and plugged in the address for the Institute of Contemporary Art. My mum insisted that it was a cool museum and since I had a pass, I figured we'd try it.

So we walked the couple of miles to the ICA and managed to not get lost, a feat I was very pleased with myself over. We then did an incredibly quick tour of the ICA mainly because it was a very badly set up museum for my sensory issues. Very tall, very white walls and white floor and white ceiling and lighting and yea whoa, issues. So needless to say we got out of there in record time. By then we were both getting tired and it was a short walk back to South Station, so we made our way there in time to catch our train home.

I think it is safe to say that Tom had a very good time yesterday on his day out and he came home exhausted, so mission accomplished. Happy guide dog, happy Katrin and a lovely day spent in the city.

Smart Fella

2011-11-30T09:55:00.000-05:00

Tom's ability to pick up patterns, what I want and his memory never cease to amaze me. He's figured out the routine items I get at the grocery store as well as remembering items in aisles that we don't routinely get. If we happen to walk down past them he pauses and asks me if we need to stop and get that today. Or like this morning he somehow figured out where the soap is kept. I don't remember ever buying soap in the grocery store with Tom since I've had him, but I started mumbling about, "Oh, where do they keep the soap, Tom..." and he found it.

He's also figured out in stores with lots of check out places, like the grocery store, that when I ask him to, "Find the counter" he needs to find one that is actually manned and has a store clerk doing check out at it. James never figured that out, though he did figure out that lines were a criteria so he'd take me to a check out that actually had a line of people. Tom takes it further than that, and finds manned check outs regardless of if they have a line or not.

Half the time I don't even tell him what I'm looking for or where we're going but he's figured out routine and does it automatically. For example he's figured out that if we're out to eat and I get him up part way through the meal it means we're going to the ladies room and he finds it. Most of the time, I don't tell him that's where we're going, a lot of times I don't even really know where it is, just have some "over there, that'a way" directions from the server, but Tom will take me to the correct bathroom regardless.

I've been told that some guide dog schools still to this day insist that guide dogs can't do the find command. The Foundation, thankfully, doesn't believe that and honestly I think maybe they even take it one step further and breed dogs that have a knack for it because I have never worked with a dog that had such a profound drive and memory for locations and routes as Tom has. Maybe they don't, and I just got lucky with Tom, but seriously, it's a really handy skill he's got and makes life and travel so much simpler.

And this is why family is awesome

2011-11-26T18:50:00.000-05:00

Large chunks of today fairly sucked. Plain and simple sucked. By 2pm I had finished my obligations that lended to today's suck and decided I needed to escape reality for a while and go for a long walk. Lately both Tom and I have been getting bored with our regular routes, so I had been mulling over a new idea for a route and decided, "What the hell, let's go Tom." I decided this without 1st checking out said idea for a route on a map to figure out exactly how many miles it entailed or figuring out about how long we'd be out. And I didn't grab my backpack which has our reflective, lights, water and Tom's dish either. 2pm. It is dark here, black out, by 4:30. Um, yea, this can go wrong in how many ways?? This is what happens when I get in the, "I need to get out of here, NOW" mindset.

So Tom and I walked along, I had a good chat and vent session with Brenda until she said she had to go and I asked her what time it was. She told me, "3" and I thought, "Huh, 3 already? And we're here? Ok" But we still had sidewalk, so Tom and I walked along. Then we got to the part of the road where the sidewalk ended, I knew it was going to end, but I completely incorrectly estimated just how long we would be walking in the street and this road we were on is scary. We just kept walking and walking and I'm like, "Shit we've got to get out of this road, where the hell is the turn??!!!" And kept walking and walking. Finally after some eternity the road we needed was there, and that road has sidewalk, thank god. So we walked down that road and it was never ending. I knew that at the end of the road we had to make a right on S. Main in order to get home and I knew that once we got to S. Main it was another hour and a half to get home. My left arm was starting to seize up all the way to my shoulder, and I couldn't uncurl my fingers from their handle holding position, I decided to check the clock, it was 4pm and getting dark. Shit, shit, shit. S. Main was at least another 15min away, and then another 90min home, no way in hell was this going to be a good idea.

So, like I have done on so many of my, "I need to get out of here, NOW" walks both in James and Tom's careers, I called my mum. She answered all chatty about turkey soup and how did I want her to set me aside some with rice not noodles, and I went, "Yes that would be great, but um, so mum, I sorely under estimated just how far away Walamolopoag was, once I hit S. Main I've got another 1.5hrs home, we've been out since 2, so any chance you can come pick us up? And bring some water?" And being the lovely mother that she is, she said, "Sure, I'll be right there." And sure enough, by the time Tom and I made it to Height's Plaza, my mum's little car pulled up to the curb in front of us, Tom had a drink and soon we were home (funny note, this has happened so many times in the past 7 months that now Tom automatically thinks that any car pulling up to the curb when we're walking is for us).

When we got home, I looked up the route on the computer. Had we done the entire thing it would have been 10.4 miles. Tom and I can only realistically do 7 on a good day without severe after effects. So yea, this should teach me a good lesson, but it probably won't. I'm generally not a very impulsive person, but when I get in an escape, get me out of here, mentality, I just get my dog and go. And once again, my family pulls through, disaster is averted and it all works out.

Turkey Cluster

2011-11-25T17:45:00.000-05:00

This morning Julie, Tom, a young girl I'm mentoring and I headed out to Springfield to go shop and visit at the Turkey Cluster Classic. We got there in time to watch the tail end of flat coats, which was nice as a I saw a lovely special from Fossil Creek and got to catch up with some of the NEFCRC folks I haven't seen in ages and ages. Then we headed over to ring 3 to watch cardigans where Julie got to visit with all of Irie's relatives and the folks she showed with when she was showing Buggie and then finally we went shopping. We were a bit disappointed as the show this year was much smaller with not nearly as many vendors as in past years, but we still got some good deals. I got around 125 beef trachea for Tom (those are his, "I'm leaving you locked in the bedroom to go teach a lesson but here is something to make it worth your while" treats, the other 2 get all natural pigs ears) for $20!! Talk about a steal!! We spent some time watching agility, obedience and rally, then headed out to lunch and finally home. Tom was great the entire day. His guide work was excellent, he treated the countless dogs we walked past, around and through as obstacles and not distractions, I've realized that he amazingly enough knows how to find the ladies room just about anywhere which I never taught him, and I was just super happy with him all day.

Thanksgiving with my family this year was lovely. So many members of my family went out of their way to make sure food was "safe" for me to eat it was incredibly nice of them and not expected. Work lately has been incredibly emotionally draining, and it was nice to try to leave it at the door for a couple of hours. It's also been so valuable and appreciated in my life that I have a couple of friends right now who understand the compassion fatigue that can so easily happen in my line of work and are there to listen to what has become a very depressing case load. I love what I do and I love my job, but sometimes it's one of the hardest jobs in the world.

harness handle change update

2011-11-21T13:56:00.000-05:00

So while it's been a couple of weeks now that we've had the off-set handle, I've only been able to really work Tom in it a handful of times, but already he tells me he prefers it to the ergo. With the ergo handle in training at the Foundation and for the 1st month or so we were home he was happy to shove his head into the harness when it was time to gear up, but then after a month I began to notice him doing some avoidance behaviors. He'd stop and do a big stretch before coming to put it on when I'd take it out of the closet off the hook, or he'd come over and put his head as if he was going to put it in the harness and purposefully miss. He was still very happy and eager to work, he would just tell me he didn't really like wearing the harness.

Since we started using the off-set, Tom's once again Mr Eager Beaver when it comes time to put the harness on. No more avoidance behaviors. No more stretching. No more missing the head hole. Instead I get happy dog tail wagging shoving his head into the harness when I hold it out. I also think that the ergo handle bugged his shoulder when he was working in it for some reason, and I don't think the off-set makes that hurt. He moves differently and the harness sits on his body differently with the off-set handle and either way Tom tells me he much prefers it. So despite the fact that my own shoulder and arm aren't all that thrilled with the off-set, Tom's vote counts more, so the off-set will be staying. Now if we can only get him to hold his adjustments in harness with the off-set so he stops dragging that back foot, things would be even better.

Remembering

2011-11-18T17:49:00.000-05:00

It's funny what the subconscious thinks about and processes. The past couple of mornings I've woken up dreaming and thinking about James. January 1st he'll have been gone a year. Today I was showing someone the pastel drawing I have of my three flat-coats- Regal, James and Niche and thinking about my boys. The drawing so well captures the personalities of each dog all in one piece of artwork. It's framed and hanging outside my kitchen. Regal looks stately and regal, just as he was aptly named for. James is smiling with a happy twinkle in his eye and Niche is intense, ready for action. February 22 Re'll have been gone, oh, don't know how many years, '07 if I remember right, long time. He was such a great dog. James was a great dog as well. Different reasons but both important parts of my life.

Niche has been doing some things lately that make me wonder how much longer I'll have with him. Took him to the vet for a chest x-ray last Friday, it came back clear, but there is doubt nagging in my mind. The hard part is, I often know something is wrong with my dog before modern medical testing can show it, I knew with Re and I knew with James. I'm hoping I'm wrong with Niche. There's nothing that can be done if I am right, so I just keep shoving the thoughts into the recesses of my mind and enjoying the time we do have. If there is anything my dogs have taught me over the years is to live in now. Enjoy what you have, be in the moment, you can't change what is, just let it be.

Yay, my day off!

2011-11-17T08:39:00.000-05:00

Been a crazy busy week but finally my "weekend" is here! I'm actually only really getting today and tomorrow morning as low stress time off instead of my originally planned 5 days but it's something and I'm happy about it! :-)

This morning Tom and I had a lovely walk. Chatted with Julie for a good chunk of it (no chatting at street crossings, no worries). As it was a bank walk Tom got to choose the route home and surprisingly enough he chose a fairly brief one. Unusual since we haven't had a good walk in quite a long time. There was major road closed construction down one of the longer loop streets he generally likes so perhaps that's why he decided he wanted to turn right down a cross street at that intersection instead of going straight. Dunno, either way we made our way home and then he did crazy dog racing around in my house, which is always a little frightening- 65# moose of a dog running through my 900 square foot house on hard wood. Yup, tad scary. Good thing he only does that on rare occasions and I don't have any breakables at Tom height. Now he's sacked out for his morning nap on the dog bed.

Hopefully will be getting together with Li for lunch, and early this afternoon Cheryl is stopping by to adjust the boys but otherwise I'm taking the day as a much needed break and chilling on the couch, though I may decide to make a pumpkin pie recipe I want to try out. Weather says that temp is supposed to drop into the 30's by 5pm and we may get some snow tonight, but right now outside it's rather amiable so I'm glad we got our walk in while it's nice.

"But, you're sick"

2011-11-12T16:55:00.000-05:00

It's funny how we, as humans, have a tendency to use words to justify or rationalize something to ourselves. To chose words that we can cope with, words that make an experience itself easier to cope with. For me I have no problems saying or hearing the word "disabled" as part of what my life experience involves. I also have no issues saying, "I have a broken/busted nervous system/body/mind." But hearing someone tell me, in a very matter of fact way, "But, Katrin, you're sick," makes my stomach drop. "Sick?! What?! What are you talking about? I'm not sick." Knee jerk reaction, happens every time. And it's funny really because any outsider who really knew what my life entailed would have no issues defining me as "sick" or "ill." But those aren't words I chose for myself.

What my life has become over the past 8 years has become normalized to me. When I think that well yeah I have a doctor's appointment at least once a week, I think, well everyone does that. It takes a minute to go, wait, no not everyone does that, I do that. This week I turn 28, 10 years ago never in a million years I'd think my life would be like what it is today and most days I consider myself pretty lucky. I've got a great support system with my family and friends, I've got a place to live, I've got health insurance, I've got a line of work that gives me flexibility with my health issues and that I love, I've got an excellent care team and 3 really great dogs. I get frustrated with the limitations my system places on me, but I try to remember, some days more successfully than others, that others have different and more severe limitations, and I should be grateful for what I have.

This week had its ups and downs. Friday I was finally, after a couple of nights of good sleep, feeling well enough to take Tom around the block and try out the off-set handle. It made my arm, hand and shoulder ache, but since I hadn't done anything in a week, it could just have been from lack of use and I need to try it out some more. Today was a successful, but exhausting day and tomorrow I know will kick my ass, as will the early part of next week, but I've got 5 days off for a long weekend to try to recuperate before Thanksgiving. Sometimes life is all about trying to find the very fine balance between what my body will allow, and what I want or need to get accomplished. Some days I find the balance and some days it's all about damage control.

Seasons change

2011-11-06T17:14:00.001-05:00

and my body, nervous system and brain implode. *sigh* Right now it seems I get 3hrs a day max in which I am allowed to function and after that, nope, sorry, you will be spending the rest of the day on the couch. Let me tell you 3hrs really ain't a lot of time. I just keep trying to convince myself that truly February is not that far away. Traditionally my life crashes around October or November and then either the issues presented "get better" or I eventually just figure out a way to function despite them sometime in February. Right now it's looking like this is gonna be a long winter.

Today D dropped off the 19" off-set handle so Tom and I will give it a spin for a month until he comes to pay us another visit. We tried both an 18" and the 19" and the 18" I was stepping on Tom's front feet so nope, that's not going to work. Here's crossing my fingers that it fixes the crab walking issue without causing my shoulder to scream.

In the vein of being able to get out of my house independently this winter, I've been trying to make progress with my town and the next town over's DPW on getting them to commit to actually plowing the sidewalks they are supposed to plow as opposed to just stopping at random points that make no logical sense leaving the job in a very unusable state, as has happened the past 3 winters I've lived here. Canton's DPW was very receptive and appeared very concerned that the sidewalks were not getting plowed the way they were supposed to and so hopefully progress will be made there. Sharon, the damn town I live in, was once again incredibly non committal and attitude of "I don't know, not my problem," so I ended up calling the town's disability/accessibility commission, who at least appears that they're going to make an effort to follow up on the situation. We shall see how much progress I have made on this come the next storm.

good after care session

2011-11-03T14:03:00.000-04:00

This morning Tom and I had a couple of hours of after care with my area GDF field rep trainer, D. It was a really good session and I got some good pointers that will hopefully help things out. First D thinks that the reason Tom is pulling so hard to the right is because I'm stepping on his feet and bumping into him causing him to crab walk. He doesn't like getting stepped on, who could blame him! D also noticed that when I walk I have a tendency to look down and to the left which is probably also contributing to my walking into my dog and causing him to crab walk. So he suggested, especially when we leave a down curb, that I really focus on pulling my right shoulder back and looking up and straight ahead to try to straighten me out.

We are also going to try a different style of handle, which D will hopefully be able to drop off this weekend as he didn't have the correct length one in his van. The shorter handle we did try did make it more difficult for me to stop on Tom's feet and D said that observing us Tom wasn't crab walking as much and was much straighter. The challenge is that will the off-set handle exacerbate my shoulder pain that the ergo handle has helped reduce so much? In the winter especially my hands stiffen up due to the Reynaud's, so will have to just test out the off-set handle for a couple of weeks and see. D plans to come back in early December to follow up, so if he can get me the handle this weekend that will give me about a month to test it out and see how I feel using it.

Because there still a large number of downed trees and branches on my street, we got to work a lot on off-curb obstacles as well and D gave me some good help on better ways to approach those. Tom has a tendency to anticipate off-curb obstacles very far in advance, he's a smart fellow who knows the drill so likes to take me out and around them oh about 15' before the obstacle is actually there. And then after the obstacle he keeps me out in the street preferring to wait for a curb cut or driveway before taking me back on the sidewalk. This put us out with traffic for way longer than D was comfortable, so we got lots of practice on doing some retraining with Tom on that. It was good. With the snow coming we're going to have way more obstacles with snow banks, and since I don't really like being out in the street when I don't have to be, it was good to get some outside help on ways to better approach the issue.

So it was a good session, and I'll start implementing the suggestions on ways to straighten me out so I'm not stepping on my dog so easily and we'll see how it goes.

6 months and adjustment

2011-11-01T05:00:00.122-04:00

Today six months ago I was picked up at the ferry dock on Long Island by G, and learned I'd be getting a black lab x golden cross named Tommy and by 7pm I had my new partner. Tom is an awesome dog, the dog I had tried to hard to find for 3 years, and he couldn't have been a better match. The Guide Dog Foundation certainly did right by me with Tom.

This month has brought some adjustment in Tom and my working relationship that we're still sorting through. We had 5 months, a glorious summer, where my nervous system was letting me do so much and was functioning overall incredibly well. It crashed a small handful of times, but the periods of failure were brief, only lasting a couple of days, and then I was back to "normal." Tom and I formed a working relationship based on that "normal," we were getting out every day, learning new routes, getting used to each other and learning to communicate the way every guide dog and handler needs.

By mid-September/early October, I was beginning to get signs that my nervous system wasn't happy with "normal" anymore. The G/I issues started, fatigue began to set it and the visual and auditory processing problems became more frequent and intense. On walks, Tom began to act and guide differently. At first I was confused trying to figure out why he was working so differently, it wasn't until this weekend when I had a day where I was functioning more like "normal" that I realized the change was due to me, not him. I move and walk differently when I can't process and can't "see." Tom is having to figure out what this new "normal" means and how to compensate for it. With winter, snow and the time change coming, it's doubtful that I'll be going back to the "normal" we had this summer anytime soon, and the processing problems will most likely continue through next spring, as is generally a "normal" winter for me.

The lack of consistency with "normal" that my condition causes by definition is, in part, what can make it so frustrating and difficult to cope with. I can be functioning and processing incredibly well for any variable length of time and then within seconds, be having problems and sensory failures. From May to mid-September of this year is actually probably the longest period I've had in many, many years, where my vision was functioning as well as it was for as long as it was. The hard part for Tom is he thought that was my "normal" and that's what he learned who I was with. Now, as a team, we're having to adjust to the fact that, no, that's not the way it always is.

Today I talked to G and on Thurs of this week my area field rep trainer is coming out because I need an outside person I tell me what I'm doing differently and how Tom and I can work through this better and safely. With winter coming, it's something we both need to figure out and adjust to before we have to start dealing with the environmental changes that snow brings. I'm confident that with Tom, being who he is, we'll work through it and learn how to work as a team with the new "normal" that my system sets. Tom has the intelligence and the caring to be the guide dog I need despite the ever changing status quot.

Yes, Tom, Welcome to Winter in New England

2011-10-30T16:50:00.001-04:00

So apparently Oct 29th is now prime Nor'Easter time of year. Sheesh. We lost power sometime in the middle of the night (AKA COLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) and it came back on around 4pm. My folks the next town over still don't have power. To try to stay warm, besides shoveling the driveway (urgh....), Tom and I decided to take a walk on one of our usual routes. Usual except of course that because this is winter in New England we had no passable sidewalks, snow mounds for obstacles and copious amounts of downed trees and limbs to work around. Oh and the light at the corner wasn't working so we got to play chicken with the cars at the major four way intersection. At the parts where we usually have sidewalk and didn't Tom was like, "Ok, what happened to the sidewalk? Why are we walking in the road??" There were a couple of sections where the sidewalk was sort of clear and he did a very careful job of making sure I didn't slip in the snow, good boy. Overall he was a very good guide dog despite the snow and I think this winter will go well with Tom in the lead. Now all of the dogs (and ME!!) are very glad the power is back since that means HEAT and I have to say that heat is very, very, very GOOD!!!!

good walk

2011-10-29T10:24:00.000-04:00

I'm still not feeling too hot but finally was able to get out with Tom on one of our usual longer routes. He was happy, he was fast, straight, guide work was great and having a good time. It was a good walk.

We're supposed to get snow again tonight, got a bit the other night as well. It's mitten, fleece and jacket weather for sure. I got some boots for Tom as well, hopefully they will fit his feet right and stay on. Because he has dew claws I was hesitant to get Ruff Wear ones as a number of people have told me if the dog has dew claws Ruff Wear boots will rub him weird, and since Tom has bigger feet than any dog I've had in the past, the Ruff Wear ones I have wouldn't fit him anyway. I decide to try Ultra Paws ones this time as a couple of people I know with service and guide dogs said they fit their dog well and the dog has dew claws.

My mum last weekend also convinced me to try a different type of long sleeve shirt, these ones are not 100% cotton but some composite made by Eddie Bauer and I have to say my mother was actually right. I'm way warmer with these shirts on than my regular cotton ones, especially since I hate to turn the heat on ($$!!)! I thought at 1st that they were going to bug me sensory wise but they aren't, so they pass the sensory test.

So yes, seems that winter is really here. A bit early this year, but here all the same.

just a grumble

2011-10-25T08:30:00.000-04:00

I have been progressively feeling more and more like crap for the past month. I'm tired of feeling like crap. A week ago I went to my dr, he said try one thing. Sunday I went to urgent care because this week I don't have time in my schedule to get a ride up to see my PCP and I was still puking every day. They ran a bunch of tests and when I was called about the results of some of them last night was told, "specialist." A word which makes me very, very grouchy. I don't like going to see new specialists and the last G/I doc I was sent to a couple of years ago who I kinda sorta thought was tolerable is no longer practicing so this means that any specialist my PCP decides to send me to is going to be brand new to me. 1 word for how I feel about that- grouchy. It generally takes me years to get used to new doctors, and specialists are a breed of their own, generally I find they don't listen to me, they have egos and pre-concieved notions. I get tired of having to explain my conditions all over again to yet another new doctor who doesn't "get it."

I am also grouchy that because of how I feel my dog isn't getting any exercise. Tom doesn't play ball and he doesn't run around in the back yard, both by his choice. So the only exercise he gets is when he's out working and we're walking. For the past week between the G/I issues, fatigue and major sensory problems he hasn't gotten a walk. I feel massively responsible for this, here is my 2 year old guide dog getting no exercise. The other 2 I can exercise well in the back yard by throwing the ball for 20min, with Tom there is no such simple solution. He's being very good, and doesn't get into trouble or anything when he hasn't been walked, but I still feel terrible about it.

Really I'm tired of feeling cruddy and if I do have to go to a specialist, hope that they can figure out what is going on asap so I can resume a more normal life.

the search for the perfect ginger snaps- revisited!

2011-10-20T18:58:00.003-04:00

So it seems that creating the perfect "Katrin friendly" gingersnap that actually has the texture and snap I want has been an on-going quest this year. This week my body is yet again throwing me for a loop, so between feeling like crap, sensory issues and being non-functional on the couch (to which Tom says, "So lady, you ever gonna walk me again??"), I decided to revisit making gingersnaps. My gram has a subscription to Cook's Illustrated magazine and in their Nov/Dec 2011 issue they too went on a quest for the perfect gingersnap, which I read about in the car when she was helping me get to an appointment, so today I decided to take their gluten, dairy, very Katrin "unfriendly" recipe and make it safe for me to eat and hopefully get the same crisp cookie they said they did.

The magazine recipe began by calling for 12 Tbs of browned butter. Since right now I can't even contemplate cheating on the dairy front, I decided to try substituting 3/4c browned grape seed oil. So I poured the grape seed oil into a skillet and heated it, stirring for about 4min. Cook's said that browning the butter helps reduce it's water content as butter is 16% water, which then assists in getting a crunchier cookie.

In a separate bowl I then combined 2.5c gluten free flour (recipe called for 2.5c wheat flour), 2tsp baking soda (yes 2 entire teaspoons, again they found this helped create crunch in the cookies) and 1/4tsp salt.

I poured the browned grape seed oil into a 2nd bowl and whisked into it 2Tbs ground ginger, 1tsp ground cinnamon and 1/4tsp ground cloves. The recipe also called for 1/4tsp pepper and a dash of cayenne to add bite to the cookies but I didn't have either of those so negated adding them.

I decided to not make these sugar free cookies and would play around with that aspect on future batches, so then to the grape seed/spices mixture added 1.25c packed brown sugar and 1/4c molasses. Once that was whisked together I then added in 1 egg, plus an additional egg yolk and mixed those until smooth. Finally I added in 2Tbs freshly grated ginger.

I then added in the flour mixture and stirred until just combined, then put the covered bowl into the fridge for a couple of hours to set.

The Cook's article said that for cooking, they discovered that low heat for longer time period made the best cookies. So once the dough had set I rolled the cookies onto a parchment paper covered baking sheet and cooked at 300'F for 25-30min. Since I can only fit 1 baking sheet into my tiny oven at a time, I just cooked the cookies for 25min solid. The article says that for a 2 cookie sheet oven, you should cook the 1st sheet on the top rack for 15min, the move it to the bottom rack for 10-12min as you place the 2nd sheet on the top rack. After cooking you are to immediately move the cookies on parchment paper to a wire cooling rack and cool completely. The article also said that you can coat the raw dough balls in white sugar before baking if you so desire, these had enough sugar in them so I skipped that step.

The surprise with these was that despite the grape seed oil, not butter, the cookies looked lovely and held shape. Last time I tried to make gingersnaps with a butter substitute they lost form and looked terrible. I think the very low heat really helped the cookies to stay in a cookie shape and come out very pretty with nice crackle on the top. The taste of these cookies was excellent. They have a good flavor and nice after "bite" to them. Very gingery, which I like. The disappointment is that once again the cookies lacked real "crunch." They did though have good crunch on the outside edge and I wonder if I baked them even longer it would help as so far, out of all of my gingersnap attempts these have come out the tastiest and looking the best.

I think that this recipe has a lot of good qualities and in the end may be the basis for the cookie I am craving, but for now it's back to the drawing board.

Ed on 10/21- getting closer to success! I baked the 2nd cookie sheet of this batch worth this morning for a total of 60min and some of them definitely had good CRUNCH!! So I'm on the right track, more experimenting is in order for sure!

Such a kissable face

2011-10-16T19:22:00.000-04:00

Shoe shopping for my sister's wedding, Tom shows off his very, very golden face.

ugh feeling crummy

2011-10-12T10:42:00.000-04:00

Post nasal drip sucks. Ugh. Woke up Monday with a head cold, that would be easy to deal with, since it's not gone farther than my sinus', except it's kicking my ass with fatigue. Mon night I slept at least 10hrs, then last night right smack dab in the middle of my group agility classes I was teaching, the fatigue hit and I could barely keep my eyes open. My students are lovely people and didn't fuss when we stopped my last class 15min early so I could go home and go to bed.

This morning Tom and I had a good walk, but I pulled rank on him, cut it short and told him he had to go home the same way we had come because I was starting to feel too cruddy. Now I'm cold and hoping I don't crash after my busy afternoon. Hopefully this will pass soon as I'm getting rather tired of it...

The Achievement of Independence

2011-10-09T16:21:00.000-04:00

This post is for the Assistance Dog Blog Carnival being hosted by Cyndy at Gentle Wit this quarter.

Within every assistance dog partnership there is an element of dependency. Our dogs depend on us for affection, food, shelter and for direction. We depend on our dogs for assistance with daily tasks and safety. There is a daily give and take in the assistance dog-handler relationship, and it is through this inter-species dependency that the strong bond a handler has with her dog develops.

With my first assistance dog, James, I was dependent in a way that Tom and my relationship hasn't seen and probably never will. When I trained James to be my service dog, I was 19, just recently diagnosed, very ill, and had massive fears and anxieties about a very chaotic greater world that I was just barely on the edge of being able to cope with. At that time no one knew that so much of my disorder was related to a nervous system that had such poor sensory function, and my family, medical team and self were all grasping around in the dark trying to help me figure out how to function after a pretty catastrophic break down.

When I began to formally train James for service work and for public access, he became my rock, I became dependent on him to function in a world that my nervous system couldn't cope with. When he wasn't with me, I felt completely detached and unable to function. I didn't have any training, any other skills, and no one in my life knew of any other foundation to give me to help me navigate the outside world, James was it. I was so dependent on him, I was codependent.

My worst anxiety as James reached middle age, was "How was I going to function without him?" What was I going to do if something happened to James. How limited would my world become once again; with James I could go anywhere and do anything. I could travel, I could go to work, I could leave my house and go for a walk in any weather, any season, any time of day. With James I had freedom and independence, what would happen to that when he retired?

The driving fear, that my life would fall to pieces and the independence I had with James would shrivel up and turn into nothing, is what pushed me to get a successor puppy when James was only 4. When Obi was diagnosed with epilepsy and I subsequently re-homed him, James was nearly 5.5yrs old. James was in excellent health, only showing slight signs of beginning to slow down when I decided to apply to GDF. I figured I would start the process and if accepted just sit on the wait list for 2 or more years until James was truly ready to retire. I didn't want to have to risk having to wait any time between dogs, how would I function between dogs?

With my application to GDF, I was required to go through O&M training. No state agency would pay for it, so I found an instructor and paid him to teach me. Suddenly I had access to someone with knowledge and training, someone who told me there were formal systems and processes and protocols for navigating through the massively chaotic and overloading world I had been trying to survive in for the past 25 years. Suddenly, I was learning a new way of traveling, a way that I could control and do on my own, by myself, without James. Suddenly I was learning a way to assuage my "What will happen without James?" fears and learning how to save the independence James had given me.

I finished my O&M lessons that fall, and the summer after James was diagnosed with bone cancer. Except James' very sudden and fairly early retirement was no longer my worst fear. It was okay that James could no longer guide me with the grace, style and accuracy he had for the past 7 years, I had a fall back plan, I had skills, I had a way to navigate independent of a guide dog harness, I had a system, a process for getting through the world. I knew how to use that system and I learned that I could control my independence, I was no longer codependent.

When Tom entered my life 10 months later, I was thrilled to be once again be a guide dog partner, but my role in the relationship was different. I was no longer the frightened, anxious, "what lies outside my front door" partner that I had been with James, I had already achieved a form of self-sufficiency and independence in the 10 months without a guide. I had fallen back on my own resources and my own knowledge to find ways, beyond just my O&M training, to be independent. I'd pushed for and succeeded through a winter of OT, I had explored better ways to force my CNS to function when I was out traveling by cane, I tried many different ways to attempt to cope with my sensory problems and succeeded. I had worked through and achieved success in a way that just a year prior I had for thought for sure I would never be capable of.

With the sense of confidence in myself and my own skills, entering into a partnership with Tom has been successfully and rich in ways that my partnership with James had never been. Tom and I have been together less than 6 months, and we have a relationship, a give and take, where we depend on each other for safety and security but neither of us depend so much on the other that our very ability to function is compromised when we are apart. Tom gives me a sense of security, but I additionally have a sense of security in myself. I feel like Tom always has my back, he's always there as my back up should I err, but I have achieved a dependency on my own skills, my own self, to keep us safe first and to hold up my end of our team. With James, he was more than my partner, he was my independence. Now, I have my own independence and Tom is my partner in the true way that word conveys.

Setting your dog up for success

2011-10-07T10:40:00.000-04:00

Lately it seems I have been seeing more and more dogs presenting with human-direct aggression. In the past week alone I've consulted with 2 families each with dogs that have bitten children. For most dogs, fear is a diving force leading to an aggressive response and bite. The dog feels that he can trust no one but himself to control and manage the environment that is making him uncomfortable and that he must take matters into his own hands to keep himself "safe." There has been a fundamental breakdown in the very foundational trust that all healthy dog-human relationships must be built on- that the human is 110% trustworthy and reliable and no matter what, if the dog looks to them for direction, the person will step up and make sure the dog is "safe." The should the dog feel threatened, afraid or uncomfortable, all he needs to do is look to his owner and his owner will take care of the problem. He never needs to fall back on himself to gain control of a situation.

Dr. Karen Overall, DVM, a veterinary behaviorist at UPenn as devised a Protocol for Deference, or a basic protocol for teaching a dog to reorient and refocus back on his handler, to ask permission and for his owner's feedback before doing anything, a protocol for teaching this fundamental trust that the owner will take care of the problem, the dog never needs to. Dr. Overall speaks of the protocol in relation to dominance aggression, but the protocol for deference, also known as "nothing in life is free," is a fundamental protocol that every dog owner should implement with their dog of any age and history, puppy, adult, behavior problem, or not, alike.

Teaching your dog a default of reorienting and refocusing on you, his owner, in every day life, transfers in times of high stress and high stimulation. It sets your dog up for lifelong success and aids in the prevention of a control aggression based behavior problem from ever forming. It creates a give and take relationship between you and your dog based on mutual respect and trust. And it teaches your dog that he never need to look further than you, for safety, comfort and control in the often times frightening and chaotic world we live in.

Happy Birthday Tom

2011-10-02T22:59:00.000-04:00

I know it's a bit early, his birthday isn't until the 11th but at the moment I am remembering it and seeing how bad my ability to accurately track what date or day of the week it is has been lately, I'm not guaranteeing that I'll actually realize when the 11th is truly here! So in advance, Tom is getting birthday wishes. He really is such a great dog and deserves them.

This afternoon we went on a good walk to run some errands and took the scenic route home. Lately if we go to the bank for some reason, I let Tom choose the route home. He has very distinct preferences on which way he would like to go at any given time, so I give him some freedom to choose and it makes him very happy. He still has to guide me to the curb and ask me if we can go the way he wants, and if we're coming home from the bank then I oblige and we get home which ever way he chooses to create. Sometimes this means we're out for an additional hour or two, so I just make sure that on bank days I have the extra time to spend making my guide dog happy.

Today I was eternally grateful that I had stressed to GDF just how much I needed a guide who was not dog distracted, and that they understood and honored that request. Besides just having to cross on the sidewalk with probably 6 or 7 people and their dogs on leash at various points in our route, some of whom the other dog was none too happy about being expected to pass in close proximity to us, we also had to walk past a loose, unattended dog who was getting into someone's trash. I didn't have my glasses on so couldn't see very well, I had been having processing problems before we left the house which wearing my glasses generally compounds, but I do know there was a dog getting into a white garbage bag across the street from us, and I know he stopped eating as we passed and I held my breath and thought, "Ok dog, just go back to eating that garbage, and don't decide to come after us..." and luckily the dog decided the garbage was more tantalizing than coming across the street to bother us. The whole thing Tom just kept staring forward, guiding forward, completely ignoring the loose dog. Good boy, Tom.

haha! Phone call that made my day!!

2011-09-28T10:22:00.001-04:00

So months ago, many many many months ago, I was looking heavily into screen readers and text to speech software and then trying to figure out how I was going to pay for it. The end to that was, the $600+ software wasn't in my budget and the free ones weren't compatible with the programs I needed them to be compatible with. So I decided, that I would save my pennies for a Mac and in the mean time deal with not being able to read large blocks of text.

In that route of trying to work out how to get a screen reader, I contacted Easter Seals which deals with the state funded accessible technology program in my state and from there was sent to a department at UMass Dartmouth, funded by the SHARE Foundation, being told that that department was now taking over the accessible tech program in my region and I'd have to apply with them for a grant to fund ZoomText or other program. So I applied with them, and never heard anything so assumed I'd been rejected (the phone call I had with someone from the program led me to believe that my application would probably be rejected) and that it had been a dead end.

Imagine my surprise today, when around 9:30am I get a call from someone who is from that UMass Dartmouth program. He tells me he has a version of ZoomText on a flash drive for me and will I be home tomorrow so he can drop it of? I'm like, "Drop it off? Free? Hell yes I'll be home!" Woot!! This is awesome!! All of the work I've been doing for Maplewood Dog Training on the computer lately rewriting the website and writing articles, the entire time I've just been typing what I want to write and praying it comes out correctly since for none of it have I been able to read back to myself what I've written. Just typing blindly and crossing my fingers that it comes out the way I want. For some of the stuff I've been able to get a family member or friend to proof read, but most of it I haven't. With ZoomText on my machine now I can hopefully read back to myself what I've typed! That will be awesome!!! I'm very excited about this!! Totally made my day!

busy week, crazy busy week

2011-09-24T16:39:00.000-04:00

This week has been incredibly busy. A good chunk of that busy was that I got started on yet another one of my self appointed "projects." This time it was redesigning the content of my business' website. Maplewood Dog Training. Last weekend in one of my middle of the night can't sleep nights, I listened to a podcast done by a company that helps dog trainers better market themselves about web design and it was very well done. So I decided to take some of the tips to try to better market the services I offer to clients and to get some better traffic to the website through search engines. I will have to keep checking my google analytics to see if my work has had any effect. I also realized that I have taken my web design program as far as I think I can and am at the end of my "know how" with web designs, so am looking into trying to find someone affordable who can help me design a template that is more visually appealing to people than what I currently have on the site. If you know of any folks that are good, feel free to send them my way :-)

So doing that has taken up many hours, and much brain power and functioning power. Then of course I had my lessons to teach during the week. And on Thursday I had a couple of drs appts that had me out of the house from 10am till 5:30pm. Tom was awesome the entire time and my gram, who drove me around, the wonderful gram that she is, and I found a wonderful small diner/restaurant, the Busy Bee Diner in Bookline, MA. It has to be probably my best google restaurant find of all time. I was going to a new dr's office and knew we had about 2hrs between one appt and another so before we left I did a quick google search for restaurants for lunch that would be close to the 1:30pm dr's office and up came the Busy Bee. The wait staff was sheer lovely, the food was enormous and incredibly well priced and delicious and the place just had a great feel to it. We will definitely be going there again next time we're in Brookline.

Friday Tom and I traveled into Boston to meet my sister to attend the Change People's Live's accessability conference. Well we didn't go the conference we just went to the free expo they were having and it was very good. I got some interesting info on a new app for people with autism to help with organization and task functioning, talked to the Hearing Carry-Over folks for my aunt and uncle, learned about some groups that organize different outdoor hikes and such that sounded interesting and learned some other things about area accessible resources. After going to the expo my sister and I walked around. I finally went into a Trader Joe's. I have never been in one though Julie, who works above one, has bought me many food items from them in the past. We found some very affordable mochi ice cream, so splurged and enjoyed that on the Common. We then walked around a bunch, went into the Apple Store so I could ask some questions as when this Dell laptop croaks I'm switching to a Mac and generally had a nice time visiting.

Today, Niche, Dot, my mum, Pauli and I went to my club's agility trial for the morning. We had kind of an adventure getting there, seeing how I've only been to this indoor facility once, 2 years ago, but we did eventually make it there. Niche and I had some nice runs, no Qs, but what do I expect for running a dog I haven't trained with in 4-5months, haha. Niche is a dear though and does amazingly well when I ask him to do such things. 2 runs were nice. 2 runs I made very, very ugly. Yuck. Total handler screw ups. 2 of my students were competing at the trial for their 1st time and they did great and had a good time, so that was a success. Dotty-Dot behaved herself, met some people and some dogs and generally had fun. She is probably going back to Holly sometime in the next 2 weeks.

This afternoon I got home from the trial fairly achy and brain dead, lay down in bed for a while and am now trying to stay awake to a decent hour so I can get up and go to work again tomorrow morning. Next week is looking a bit quieter, which is good, too much of this over doing it does not make a body happy.

1st on the street walk

2011-09-18T08:05:00.000-04:00

Since Monday, Dot and I have been spending some time every day out in the front yard getting used to the traffic. I'd feed her at least one meal a day out in the driveway, each day getting closer and closer to the street and sidewalk. At first she was pretty nerved out by the noise of the traffic, an effect that was compounded by the fact that her head was out of alignment (pretty common problem with noise sensitivity in dogs and people. If your head is structurally out of alignment you are significantly more likely to be sound sensitive). On Thursday she saw Dr Cheryl, the chiropractor who adjusted her head, and since then she's been much more happy, happy, head up, tail wagging puppy around the cars.

Because it was early Sunday morning, the time when my regularly very busy street gets the least amount of traffic, Dot and I took advantage of that and took a short walk three houses up the street and back. Walking a puppy or student dog, working on leash manners, is generally a challenge as all of my energy is hyper-focused on the dog and what she is doing, and pretty much none of my energy is focused on where I am going. I can walk for short periods of time independently, if I can hyper-focus my energy on safely moving through space. The longer the period of time or further I go, the less I can hyper-focus to the degree necessary and the less safe moving through space independently becomes, hence why I use a guide dog or cane. Using a guide dog means that all that limited energy I would have spent focusing on trying to move through space, can now be spent on getting my errands done and living my life.

But back to Dot. Since today was not trash day, moving through space focused on Dot for 3 houses, wasn't so much of a hazard. We worked on her being able to stay on my left side, on a loose leash, giving to pressure on the lead and sitting straight when we stopped. What I was asking of her was communicated with voice and body language and rewarded with praise, pets and some cookies. She really did very well. She's figuring out that staying on my left side means not tripping me up, and when we stop she is not to come around to front, but stay on my left and sit loosely straight (puppy expectation of straight).

Depending on the traffic, we may work on this later again today or else it will wait for tomorrow. Dot is also learning 'sit' and 'down' with verbal and hand signals, as well as self control around treats and the food dish. Life recalls are also a work in progress and she's doing very well with everything. In a couple of weeks I'm starting a puppy kindergarten class for my students, which Julie has graciously offered to bring Dot to so that she can continue with socialization in a controlled manner and learn to work for another person.

More early morning baking

2011-09-17T04:21:00.001-04:00

Yesterday the boys and I did some early morning baking, making another batch of lemon bars. I have had the Worst texture cravings this past week. Horrible, horrible, horrible cravings for hard, hard foods. One thing I have found on this diet is it is seemingly next to impossible to get anything with the good crunch and hard texture that you can so easily get with wheat and gluten based foods. Even fruits and veggies don't have the hard texture I am searching endlessly for.

The lemon bar crust I had made previously as part of the lemon bars came sort-of-close, but when I made the crust alone it did not. I wondered if part of the hard texture came from the crust soaking up part of the lemon custard-like topping so I made them again. Again the texture came close, so I'm still searching.

This morning I gave up on the texture craving and instead decided to make a recipe for gluten free cinnamon bread I found on the Non-Dairy Queen blog. I modified the recipe using a 1/3 c agave and 1tsp stevia instead of the white or turbinado sugar. I also just used a regular egg instead of a flax egg since flax causes me issues. The recipe said to bake the bread 45-50min, I set the timer at 50min, which I think ended up being about 7min too long for my oven as the fork wasn't even close to being gooey when I tested the bread with it (I have no toothpicks! haha). When I tried the bread, it was good but not very sweet. Next time I will probably put in a full tablespoon of stevia or possibly instead of agave use maple syrup as I think that would add a lovely flavor to this bread. It was a good bread to experiment with and I think I'll make it again sometime playing more with the flavor and texture.

Miss Dotty-Dot has been a hellion with major TEETH lately. LOL. Little Rascal. Starting yesterday she's been spending any non-crate indoor time on a tie-down close to me, since she has a habit of disappearing in a flash to go shred something in another room. Even then it's near constant redirection. No you can't tear up the rug, no you can't chew the computer desk, no you can't tear the trash can liner, no you can't shred the underside of the ottoman...constant, constant, constant redirect to "chew your antler," "chew your metal dumbbell," "chew the nylabone," etc. She's a monster of energy and pearly whites for about an hour then she crashes asleep for a good couple of hours. Ah the salvation of puppies- the dear impeccable cuteness of a sleepy puppy. Washes away all the holy terror-ness of teething when they are awake! haha

Lesson 2

2011-09-16T09:09:00.000-04:00

"Restraint is still part of life."

Commands

2011-09-13T17:12:00.000-04:00

There is currently a discussion going on on the GDF list about commands, and what commands GDF teaches that are different than other school and I thought some of the things Tom knows would make an interesting post.

Most of the things that Tom was taught were the same or very, very similar to what I taught James and had been teaching Jess. The hand signals for sit, down, left, right, forward and over were all the same. Tom knows the words "forward," "left" and "right" whereas James knew "walk up," "turn" and "here" for those directionals. Making the transition wasn't difficult for me as the hand are the same and I find that if I can pair a verbal with a hand cue then I remember it better, so that was a fairly easy change to make.

I learned in the GDF list discussion that actually Tom had been taught "about" for the right U-turn, something I missed when on-class, and I've just been using the word I've always used which is "around" and Tom, being the smart guy that he is, obviously picked up on it since he makes nice right U-turns on my cue "around" with a hand signal and some foot work.

Foot work cues at GDF were more pronounced than I had used previously, but were essentially very similar to the ones I had taught James. I find that Tom still does need the more pronounced bringing about of my right foot to tell him to make a hard left turn, but on the others I don't have to be so blunt about it.

The bathroom cue at GDF is "busy," which I knew I would never remember or use, so when I was in NY training with Tom I made a point of beginning to teach him to break on "hurry up" which is the cue I have always used. Tom had no issues with the transition and now quickly breaks on "hurry up." I also wanted to change Tom to "hurry up" because that's what Niche and Monty have been taught to go on, and it would have been a pain trying to get 3 dogs to go to the bathroom at once with 2 on "hurry up" and 1 on "busy."

My cue with James for when I wanted him to take extra care such as on a rework, or when I wanted him to be extra watchful of traffic or something similar was "careful." When I 1st tried to do a rework on something at GDF with Tom and told him "careful" I quickly realized that he had no meaning for that word, and had to ask G what word he had taught Tom. Turns out that was "watch" which is what I use now with Tom and he responds well to it.

James knew many "find" commands, which Tom also knows. Find inside, outside, left, right, button (James knew "light"), chair, bank, shaws, rite aid, etc.

I don't know what other schools teach, as I've never been to a different school, but GDF cues were fairly similar to my own, which has worked out very nicely.

Lesson 1

2011-09-11T18:00:00.000-04:00

9 puppies went home to NY this afternoon, 1 went home to Maine and 1- Miss Spot-Dot is staying here for a bit longer, until the Turkey Cluster in Nov or she finds a permanent home, which ever comes 1st.

Lesson 1 for Dot- food is not free. Self control and eye contact are key. Come to the hand. In the house the rule is play quietly with a toy or sleep, the big dogs know this rule and no, they will not play with you. Restraint is part of life. "Ah-ah" means stop and try something else.

Life lessons for a puppy aren't about sit, down and stay; they're about a greater awareness of self and the world and what are the keys to accessing that greater world. They're about impulse control, taking direction and problem solving. Dot may never learn what "sit" means here, but she will learn how to control herself, how to look to a human for direction and how to confidently approach the problems that life presents. "Sit" isn't really important, what's important are the life lessons that learning to "sit" teach.

Makes me laugh

2011-09-10T18:47:00.000-04:00

Tom and I went for a walk this afternoon that took us down by a cemetery. As we were crossing the street in front of the cemetery I hear a woman say, a couple of times, "No, you can't go over there, that's a working dog!" I assumed she was talking to a small child, since it's a common phrase I hear parents utter to their children when we are out, until I glanced up and saw that no, the woman was talking to her dog. Um, lady, I'm not really sure that your dog particularly understands, no cares, that Tom is a "working dog." I'm pretty sure that all your dog cares about is the fact that Tom, too, is a dog, and your dog, for whatever reason, doesn't know how to practice socially appropriate behavior when in the presence of another dog and all that is going through your dog's head at this moment is, "Alert! Alert! There is a DOG! I need to be on guard and bark and lunge at it!" And while I very much appreciate that you, as a human, recognize that Tom is indeed a working dog, I'd appreciate it even more if you taught your dog some manners so we don't have a repeat of this barking, lunging, straining on the leash trying to get to us, encounter in the future. Just sayn', that's all.

Seriously??!!

2011-09-09T15:58:00.000-04:00

I was just looking at the blog stats and somehow, don't ask me how, the current "all time" search phrase that ended people up at By My Side is "cow breeds." Ok, what the heck?? Really? COW breeds??? I did like ONE post years ago with a photo of a highland calf named George. ONE! And that is the most searched for phrase that ends people here?? Ok, that's just odd....

rain, rain, rain

2011-09-08T08:34:00.000-04:00

It's been raining since Tuesday. Rain, rain, rain. Means puppies have been locked inside. Crate training them has been slightly derailed, though last night I crated them again and they were very good and quiet. They can hold it about 9hrs once I put them in their kennels before they ask to go out again.

The big dogs and I have been stuck inside as well. Tom and my walking has also been derailed. This is probably a hidden good thing since on Monday night I smashed my bare foot into one of the cement blocks that were keeping the puppy pen in place and I still can't comfortably wear close toed shoes because of that. For some reason that I don't know, every 4-6 months or so my body awareness and proprioception gets significantly worse and I end up all banged and bruised up for about a month. Now is one of those times. Tom well takes care of the issue when we are out of the house, in the house I'm on my own.

We are now also it seems officially into fall. Past rainy days have been about 65'F out and tomorrow is supposed to be foggy and 80. Leaves on the trees will be changing colors soon, my family will go to the Big Apple for some good local Macintosh's, and I will be able to live in jeans and a sweatshirt. Fall is really my favorite time of year. Perfect walking weather. Not too cold, not too hot. Cool enough for a layer or two, some warm blankets at night and my fleece socks. Heavenly.

gluten free, sugar free cookie bars & other forays in the kitchen

2011-09-04T19:03:00.000-04:00

A few weeks ago, during one of my "it's the middle of the bloody night and I'm wide awake!" *grumble!!!* days, I decided to make good use of my time and do some cooking. I had really liked the cookie-like crust to the lemon bars I made, so I decided to try playing around with making some more of those. After eating the lemon bars, I was kinda thinking that I probably can't have coconut (which I'm now wondering if it was not the coconut oil in the lemon bars, but the grilled onion I had had with dinner the night of the puppy party, still experimenting with that currently...), so I decided to try making the cookie bars with grape seed oil instead. The end result was a thin, melt-in-your-mouth cookie bar that is very good. My sister says it reminds her of short bread, I don't know what it reminds me of, just that they taste delicious.

In a food processor, I combined 1.5 cups of gluten free flour and 1/2 teaspoon of gelatin, and pulse mixed them a couple of times. Then I added in a 1/2 cup of grape seed oil, 1/4 cup agave nectar and 1 teaspoon stevia. I pulsed those all together enough to make a crumbly mixture. I had a greased 9x13" pan that I put the mixture into, pressed it into the pan and baked it at 350'F for about 20min. The results were, as I said, really good. I cut them up and froze most of them, and they make an excellent midnight snack even frozen.

I've also experimented lately with making some salsa, and a shrimp dish, both which had green onions, that ended me with some "not so sure if that was really a good idea..." results, hence why I'm back on the fence about onions. Since onions are closely related to garlic and I know garlic is an issue for me, wouldn't really surprise me if the onions now are as well.

I also made some really good breakfast bars, based on this recipe, that I modified to make "Katrin safe" without the nut or chocolate ingredients. And I made some breakfast rice "pudding" that Donna told me how to make, that is vastly similar to a rice "pudding" I used to make all the time when I was in high school, so I am a huge fan of it and it's so simple! Brown rice, rice milk, cinnamon and craisins.

So been playing around with some different stuff in the kitchen, mostly in the middle of the night, and ending up with some surprisingly good results!

racking up the miles

2011-09-01T18:49:00.001-04:00

Lately Tom and I have been going on a lot of GPS Adventures and inventing routes to no where in the back roads of a 3 town radius. My nervous system has decided in the past month that sleep is more of a "suggestion" than a requirement, so the quasi-effective way around that is to wear my self out. The positives to this are we are becoming intimately familiar with how to get just about anywhere within a 6 mile radius of my house, the negatives are I'm wrecking my feet.

Right before I got Tom I bought a pair of Keen light hiking shoes, which 2 weeks ago officially bit the dust. Soles were essentially worn through. I called Keen and talked to someone there about did they have any models that might last longer, as I really liked the ones I had, but didn't like the price for only 4 months of use, and was told that any of the hiking shoes wouldn't hold up to pavement travel, so to try one of their city shoe models. So I got a pair of their waterproof Genoa Peak shoes, which the soles are already wearing on and my feet still hurt.

I know that a large chunk of my issue with shoes is the fact that I walk on the outsides of my feet, and I wear shoes on the outside edge where they are not really reinforced. So today I finally bit the bullet and made an appointment with a podiatrist who does orthotics in hopes that those will solve the problem. I rely way to much on my own 2 feet to get me where I need to go, to keep messing around with bad shoes.

I do though think that Tom rather likes our GPS Adventure walks as I've had a tendency to give him a little freedom in deciding on which way we'll go. Usually we walk for about an hour, turning down which ever road strikes our fancy, then I turn on the GPS and figure out a way to get home. We've found some pretty interesting things about the towns we walk in this way. Like yesterday, learned that what looks like a fairly major road on the GPS was actually an unmarked dirt road through the middle of a forest that supposedly connects 2 roads that I know about. I didn't even know that my town still had unmarked dirt roads that would show up labeled on a GPS! So we have a good time on our routes and come home tired.

Tom

2011-08-27T08:19:00.000-04:00

Just want to say how much I love this dog :-) Mr. Dependable. Such a good boy! Next week, Sept 1st, we will have been together 4 months. Seems like much longer, time is just flying by. It's so liberating to be able to just harness him up, walk out the front door and go.

Changes to the status quot

2011-08-24T10:43:00.000-04:00

Living with a faulty nervous system means an periodically changing life status quot. Generally it seems that after every change, there is a period, sometimes months, sometimes years, of adjustment and then just when I get to the point of going, "Ok, I can handle this, I can do this!" my nervous system decides to change it up once again.

With the changes that have gone on this month, I've gone through a wide range of emotions. For a couple of weeks I was absolutely bullshit angry at being forced to adjust once again to changes that came seemingly out of nowhere and for no discernible reason I could find. But then I realized that, the one common factor to everything my nervous system has thrown at me in the past 27 years, is that in the end, with every single change and adjustment, I do get to a point where I say and feel, "Ok, I can handle this, I can do this."

That there hasn't been anything in the past 27 years that my nervous system has pull that I don't eventually find someway to work through or around or despite. Most of the changes I have no control over and no influence on. I can't change the status quot, but I can adjust to it and still carry on my life and function. I may not function all that well for a while, but I do always find a way to somehow take care of my dogs, my house and usually myself. I find a way to teach my lessons, and live my life.

I remember reading a quote once that essentially said that humans are incurably resilient. I think that is absolutely true. I can do this, despite a nervous system that really flat out hates the planet we have created. I don't get a lot of control, I don't get any control over it at all really, but it doesn't matter, since in the end I can find ways to function despite it. And that is really pretty empowering.

The Ever Tolerant "Uncle" Niche

2011-08-18T16:21:00.000-04:00

Monty pretty much wants nothing to do with the puppies. Sometimes he asks to go in the pen, but usually fairly quickly asks to be let out again before the puppies really notice he is there. Tom is a little "Ok, whoa, they move way too fast!" and pretty well keeps his distance from them. Niche, on the other hand, is the ever tolerant uncle. He asks to go in the puppy pen, is meticulously careful not to step on any of them, lets them follow him around and bite his feathers, is really just the kind benevolent uncle dog everyone wishes their puppies had. A couple of years ago I never would have expected this out of Niche, but as I have said in past months about a number of things he has done in the last year, "Seven is a good age for Niche."

Things have worked themselves out with Monty's resource guarding. He is back to his usual relaxed self, which is great and a very big relief for me. The dogs, puppies and I have worked out a good morning routine with feeding and cleaning, and overall things are going pretty okay. Which is good, very good.

saving grace

2011-08-15T18:36:00.000-04:00

Tonight Monty realized that he doesn't even like Eukanuba Puppy Food. To the point that he refused to even EAT it. (must mean it tastes REALLY bad to him, as this dog will eat just about anything!) Him realizing this is probably my hidden saving grace in the whole puppy food access problem. As long as I can redirect and get him over the "they have it means I want it!" which he has successfully worked through in the past many times (and is why he does not resource guard toys from other dogs in my house, he actually does and will actively share and play with other dogs and toys, and why he doesn't try to take another dog's food out of their dish while they are eating out of it) then I'd say my father's misguided screw up shall not be the massive issue I was envisioning it could have easily become. So this is good and I am breathing easier. So this is good.

How in less than a half a second my father can undermine an entire 24hrs of training aka "GAH!!!!"

2011-08-15T16:44:00.001-04:00

Yesterday 11 puppies swarmed my house and set up camp. 11 puppies means they happen to eat quite a lot of kibble, make a mess when they do it and eat multiple times per day. I happen to live with a dog who is a resource guarder and who is a massive food hound. I knew the puppies setting up shop in my house would be difficult for Monty, I rather figured his aggression tendencies would get worse when the puppies 1st arrived until he realized that he had zero chance of ever getting access to the puppy kibble and finally gave up and relaxed.

Last night was really hard for Monty and he did loose it once, trying to go after Tom and Niche in a redirected aggression attack. I was right there and interrupted and kept everyone safe and Monty slept in a crate last night since he was massively on edge and for safety that is where he sleeps when he's having a bad day. For most of the morning today he was hyper-vigilant in the house. The food was right there, he couldn't get to it, I wouldn't let him guard it, but he couldn't relax. Around 10am he finally gave up enough to stop pacing around the puppy pen, and come lie down with us in the living room, but he was still focused on the food as every place he lay down he oriented himself to be able to see the puppy pen and his ears were always at alert.

Knowing how he works, I knew if I could get him through the 1st 48hrs or so without EVER getting a kibble out of the pen, he would give up enough to relax and stop being so on guard. This plan was going fine until my father came over to fix an electrical thing in my kitchen.

My father came out of the kitchen as I was on the phone and Monty was staring at the puppy pen. I turn around just in time to scream, "DON'T!!!!" as my father moves the kibble in the puppy pen that Monty has been staring at and gives it to Monty. ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid. And in that split second of trying to "help the dog out" my father made a problem about 300x WORSE than it already was. He just REWARDED Monty for being hyper-vigilant and for resource guarding. 27 freaking years of living with me and my father STILL doesn't get it and in less than a half second can completely undermine and entirely RUIN my training efforts. This is a HUGE problem and a large reason why I moved out of my parent's house!!

In the couple of hours that have passed since my father did that, Monty has tripled his efforts in trying to get access to the puppy food. He has now tried actually pushing the x-pen panels that make the puppy pen out of shape to push him closer to the food dish and tried jumping on the pen, seeing if he can jump or climb over. I went and put some cinder blocks inside the pen against the fence so he CANNOT move the panels and get closer to the food dish. Now instead of needing only 48hrs to get him to relax enough with the puppy pen in the house, it's probably going to take me 4 or 5 days, possibly longer. All because my father made a decision to do what he thought would "help the dog out." He just doesn't get it, actually I don't think he can "get it" seeing how I've tried to influence him on dog behavior continuously for the past 15+ years and made zero progress. This is massively frustrating and I now have a corgi, who already has an aggression problem, thinking that he might have a good chance in hell of getting another shot at the puppy food. Frustrating, frustrating, frustrating, and really really incredibly dangerous.

Oh My God, Sweet!

2011-08-14T04:44:00.001-04:00

Yesterday my family celebrated my great-aunt's 85th birthday. She comes up from Tucson just about every year to visit my gram and the rest of us and this year my gram wanted to throw her sister a party with ALL of the extended family showing up. I, of course, have had the week from crap and so while I did go to the dinner party last night, I got there at 6:40pm and by 7pm was asleep on my sister's bed with Tom snoozing by her bedroom door. So, yea, one of those "Way to go, Katrin" family gatherings.

While me missing yet another family event is not "sweet" or what the title of this post refers to, I tried making these gluten-free, dairy-free, sugar-free lemon bars to take to the party. Which, of course, I promptly forgot in my fridge, so they never actually made it to the party. Another "Way to go, Katrin" moment. *sigh* On the plus side, today, I have Holly, Julie, Teri and their significant others showing up this afternoon for a puppy party, so the lemon bars shall not hopefully go to waste. In today's wee hours of the morning (because my falling asleep on my sister's bed at 7, apparently means I'm going to be up at 2...) I cut them up and tried one and that was "OMG, SWEET!!" Holy crap, there was a lot of agave in those things in hindsight!

I made the lemon bars with no sunflower seeds (since seeds are off my list) and without the stevia, since my sister did the grocery shopping for me this week and while I tried to be clear on her getting only the pure stevia, she didn't and go the kind with another artificial sweetener mixed in it so I couldn't use it, so all the sweetener in them was agave. I think if I ever make these again I'll do quite a bit less on whatever sweetener I use since these are like sweet overload to my taste buds.

The other issue I had with these was getting the filling to set when I baked them. I ended up baking them once the filling was added to the crust for like 30min and still the filling was rather runny when I took them out of the oven. So I tried just letting it cool, then putting it in the fridge for a while and that seemed to get the filling to solidify. I don't know if next time adding more cornstarch or another egg or something to the filling mix would get the filling to set right when it was baked, might have to experiment with that in the future. (I didn't add the flaked coconut to the top of the mixture either, so maybe that was part of the issue I had with it not setting right? Dunno...)

chronic fatigue sucks

2011-08-05T15:04:00.000-04:00

and pisses me off. When I am feeling mentally and physically good, then I think I should be able to do more and not pay for it! Except there is some unwritten rule that my life is not meant to work like that. Doesn't seem to matter how good I feel, I still can't do a quarter of what regular people do and not start sleeping 12+hrs a day and spending any down time brain dead and non-functional. This pisses the hell out of me!! I just want a regular life sometimes! Why is this too much to ask!!

honey candy

2011-08-04T14:25:00.000-04:00

According to this recipe honey candy seems relatively simple to make. So since I have been having a major hankering for sweet lately I decided to try making some this afternoon with the supervision of Niche and Monty (Tom said, "Too many cooks in the kitchen!!" and relocated himself to the bedroom dog bed.)

On the surface the candy seems as I said fairly a simple process to make. That is until I realize that I don't really know what they mean by "crackles in the glass" (so many ways that term can be interpreted...) nor did they tell me how much time should approximately elapse when boiling the honey or what temperature it should get to on the stove (not that it would have helped since I don't have a candy thermometer). So I guessed (well it was more of a "ok I'm starting to get burned when trying to stir it...") poured it into the buttered cake pan and waited for it to cool to try the pulling part.

Well apparently I guessed too early, as it doesn't really want to harden, but would rather prefer to stay very much at the state between solid and liquid. Not quite sure how I'm going to store this amorphous sticky mess, (nor do I think my cake pan will ever be right again...) but it's pretty safe to say that my sweet craving has now been satiated. :-)

only 27 more to go!!

2011-08-04T07:44:00.000-04:00

The on-going 2+ year project is almost completed!! Just 27 more bricks to go!! YAY!!

life changes for good

2011-08-03T09:25:00.000-04:00

Around mid-June my life had some changes that I'm now starting to realize the benefits from. Mid-June I finished up with OT to try to treat my sensory processing disorder. While the 6 months of treatments didn't have as much of an effect as I would have like, I do think they had some effect. I'm still bothered by background noises and have issues with my vision not functioning right, but I am still overall functioning. I'm not having as many meltdowns and while I still get very fatigued there isn't as much of a sensory overload element to that fatigue.

Also playing a part in the sensory stuff is the fact that in mid-June I had central air installed. This has made a HUGE difference in my sleeping, especially since shortly after I installed it I found out that I can easily trap and kill the noisy crickets in molasses (hands down, best "home remedy" I have learned about by far in years!). My nightmares have been less as they can be very temperature dependent, if I'm too hot or too cold they get worse, and there isn't as much background noise that I need to contend with when trying to sleep. Overall very good things.

Another life change that I made in mid-June was to start teaching my private lessons more locally and stop traveling to people's homes to teach out of. Being in a car saps a ton of energy out of me and adds a lot to my sensory issues. Just by eliminating the amount of time I'm spending a car, I have gained so much in terms of being able to function. Teaching a private lesson doesn't exhaust me half as much as it used to when I was teaching out of people's homes. Also teaching out of one place that I can make very sensory friendly for me means I'm not trying to cope with other people's often times very sensory-unfriendly environments.

And I also think that the tyramine-, gluten-, sugar-free diet I have adopted is helping my sensory issues. It is still certainly helping my migraines and my fibro. I have noticed at times when I try to have something that I'm intolerant to, many times the 1st sign I get that it is going to cause me a problem is I start becoming significantly more visually and auditory hyper-sensitive to my surrounding environment.

I also went through my calendar program and specifically blocked off "work" vs "non-work" times in every day. And I have been overall really good at sticking to those times. In the past I'd have a tendency to over book myself, then crash with fatigue and overload and then have to cancel my life for a couple of days to recover. By scheduling in specific times off where I just hang around the house, rest and recover, into my routine schedule, this has really helped to decrease my stress and not feeling overloaded.

I think all of these changes, plus the addition of Tom to my life, have really started to make a very large difference. I'm finding that certain things don't tire me out as much, and that when I do get very tired, I'm most of the time just really tired, not also sensory and mentally fried at the same time. My stress and anxiety levels have been much more manageable the past month or so, and overall this is proving to be a good summer.

Now, we'll see how this goes, after the 14th, when 11 cardigan puppies come to live with me for a month...shall have to see if I'm still functioning come mid-September! LOL

WOOT!!

2011-08-02T12:48:00.001-04:00

I hit the jackpot with Hills! LOL In my basic manners and puppy classes every new session part way through the 6 week session the students and I have a discussion on feeding, weight management and body conditioning. I talk about simple ways they can feel and look at their dog to make sure their dog is not becoming obese. Look for the hour-glass figure and tuck up and feel for ribs. I talk about the "loose guideline" of 1 cup of dry food per day per 20# of dog as a way to estimate how much food they should be feeding their dog daily, with the added caveat that that loose guideline is for mid-quality and mid-calorie content dry dog food. I talk about how to read an ingredient label on a bag of dog food and I talk about common food allergens in dogs and how to recognize if your dog might have food allergies.

And then invariably I have the discussion on measuring dog food. And it goes something like this. I say, "So do you all measure your dog's food every meal?" Some say, "Yes," and I say, "What do you measure it with?" They say, "A cup." or "A scoop." I say "Is that a measuring cup, like a kitchen measuring cup?" And they go, "Well, um, yea." And I say, "An eight ounce measuring cup, that you measure flour with when baking?" And they go, "Well, um, no, it's just a cup."

And in that simple discussion I then diagnose the major problem in dog obesity with people who think they are properly measuring their dog's food. They aren't USING AN 8 OUNCE MEASURING CUP!!! And they are there by OVER FEEDING their dog in 99% of cases! Makes me somewhat crazy, so today I set about righting that in all of my classes!

I called Purina, I called Iams, I called Hills, all trying to see if they would send me some of those measuring cups that they supply vet hospitals with to help clients with weight management in their pets. And I hit the jackpot with Hills, they're going to send me 25 of the cups!! And the door seemed somewhat open to my calling again for more later. YAY!!! Hopefully they are nice 8 ounce measuring cups with markings for 3/4, 1/2 and 1/4 cup as well.

Just with a bit of phone call leg work, I have made today a very happy day!! :-)

randomness

2011-07-30T09:44:00.000-04:00

My family when they are out are random. As in they walk in a very random, unplanned path. James essentially resigned himself to this randomness that they are and would just pick one of them to follow in the jagged path they went on, at their slow speed with the random unplanned dead stops in the middle of motion when we were out with them. Tom has not yet resigned himself to this as of yet. Tom firmly believes that outings, walks and routes should have Destination! and Purpose! (and I have a tendency to agree with him!)

The past 2 nights we've gone out with a fairly large group of my family members. On Thurs night it was shopping at Macy's, last night it was a family dinner in Boston. Both times Tom is like "You guys walk too slow and PLEASE JUST PICK A PATH!!!" LOL In Macy's I finally just left them all while they were browsing for cloths and Tom and I walked around the floor with me trying to give Tom some happy travel with Destination! and Purpose! until my brain started to shut down and we went to the car where I fell asleep. Last night, I just had Tom keep finding me places to sit somewhere in the direction where they seemed to be probably heading, and wait for my family members to start moving again . Figured if they really wanted us to go where they were, they'd come find us first.

Eventually Tom will get used to my family's mode of travel, just might take a while for him to become resigned to his fate. LOL

impersonation LOL

2011-07-29T06:19:00.000-04:00

Yesterday evening my mum picked Tom and I up to go out with the family. As we get into her car she exclaims, "Tom looks so different! He looks almost like a flat coat!" LOL She said she had to do a double take to make sure he wasn't James. And while no, Tom hasn't grown more hair and gained featherings, his body shape has changed fairly significantly with his weight loss and muscle tone building up. Mum says that he now has definition, shape and form and "no longer looks like a fat labbie." I agree, he is looking quite good these days and moving a whole lot better. His coat texture has even changed, when I brought him home his coat was very coarse, felt almost like a terrier coat. Now it is much softer and I don't get near as much out of him when I brush him. Never ceases to amaze me what a good diet and good exercise will do for a dog.

great weekend :-)

2011-07-24T18:28:00.000-04:00

Tom and I are home from a great weekend up in Portland. On Saturday morning we made our way, from home, to Boston's North Station via the commuter rail and subway, to catch Amtrak's Downeaster to Portland. Once again Tom made city travel a breeze. I swear this dog has a memory for locations and routes unparalleled to some human's even. He is amazing and I love him for it. Tom settled right in for a two and a half hour train journey, I do so love traveling on Amtrak, absolutely prefer it hands down to just about any other type of travel. The travel mat that Julie made for him worked wonderfully, no black dog hair was left on the floor where Tom spent his time, so yay for that! And once we arrived in Portland, my very good friend, Brenda and her friend Deb met us for the weekend.

It was so very wonderful to get to see Brenda and spend time with her. Some people might find it funny this get to gather only makes the 4th time I've ever spent any time with Brenda in person. We talk on the phone or email almost daily and have for the past couple of years but for both of us travel can be difficult so we don't get to see each other in person all that much. It doesn't matter, the time we do get to spend together is wonderful, as is the time we spend talking to each other through other means. Seeing her in person is just icing on the cake.

Tom had a fun time playing with Brenda's flat coat, Onyx, and playing with all of her dog's toys. LOL Tom would go from toy bin to toy bin pulling out what ever suited his fancy. He says, "Brenda, you have the BEST selection of toys EVER!!! Can I come visit again?? Please!!!" LOL He was so very cute and funny when Brenda found a Cuz toy for him. He had been carrying around and trying to squeak a half-dead latex squeaky bone toy, but when Brenda held out the Cuz to him, he had the bone in his mouth, looked at the Cuz, the expression of "That's WAY better!!" crossed his eyes and he dropped the bone for dirt and happily grabbed the Cuz to squeak. Was very cute.

We spent the night and then headed home this afternoon. The visit was very short, but wonderful all the same and I can't wait until we are able to see each other again. :-)

silly dog

2011-07-21T10:35:00.001-04:00

When the dogs and I go outside to play or hang out every day, at least once during that time Tom will just start running, running, running and go round and round through the two agility tunnels in the yard. He gets sooooo happy doing this, racing, racing, racing through the tunnels. This morning he went to go run through a tunnel, but stopped and stood there instead. Highly unusual, so I went over, and he's standing there trying to pull the tunnel sand bag holder strap that had fallen off the top of the tunnel, to blocking the tunnel entrance out of the way with his teeth. Goofy dog. So I fixed it for him and then he went back to running, running, running.

The other thing Tom has been doing lately, is something James did as well, which was developing an aversion to going home from a destination the same way we came. The route out, he's all happy and driving forward and having a grand time, the route home, if it's the same, he's pokey and all slow, snail dog. So I've been having to get creative. This morning we went on a quick trip to the grocery store, and on the way home I changed up the route as much as is feasibly possible and Tom was a very happy dog. No slow, pokey dog, so yay! Mission accomplished! Have to keep these smart dogs always thinking and on their toes!

another fundraising plug

2011-07-18T11:24:00.000-04:00

L^2 over at Dog's Eye View is having a really cool on-line auction where the proceeds go towards sponsoring a Guide Dogs of America guide dog puppy. She has some really great stuff in the auction and the auction has it's own blog that can be found here: http://gdpuppysponsorauction.blogspot.com/ The auction is open for a week starting on August 8th (if I'm remembering right) so go check it out!

A traveling we shall go!

2011-07-17T16:56:00.000-04:00

I have an awesome friend, her name is Julie! She made Tom his very own wonderful travel mat so that I can take it with me when we go to visit my other awesome friend, Brenda, on Amtrak next weekend!

The travel mat that I used with James was fairly cumbersome to actually travel with. It was ok for airplane flights, but it was still a lot of bulk to carry around, and for train travel it was way too bulky as it didn't easily fit into my backpack. It was also made by my gram sized to James, and James was a smaller dog than Tom. I wanted a mat that could fold or roll up very small so that I could easily fit it in my backpack when I travel with Tom, and that was large enough for all of Tom to fit onto. Tom also sheds a lot more than James (I think, though someone else told me that they thought James shed more, so I don't know, but I do know that I find way more Tom hair on my rugs in the house than I ever found James hair and I have to brush Tom about 3x more than I ever had to brush James in a week), so I want a mat that I can easily put on the floor so that he doesn't leave fur places.

Julie had made Niche a crate mat with some awesome duck fabric a couple of years ago, so I asked her if she'd be willing to make Tom a mat and she said yes! She found a very lovely blue outdoor fabric, so it is thicker and more durable than regular fabric, then she used a light weight blue fleece for the backing. To make it easier to travel with she didn't put any batting in it, and instead of sewing it the same way she did the crate mat, she sewed it in long straight lines so that it folds and rolls up incredibly small! Just look at the picture of it all rolled up! And as you can see in the second picture, all of Tom fits on it!! YAY!!! So awesome!! :-) Thank you Julie!!!!

too smart for his own good

2011-07-17T11:55:00.000-04:00

Dear Tom,

I'm very sorry that you think my list of errands today was too short, and you'd rather we make a couple of more stops before going home, but it's ninety degrees outside and in 15 more minutes you were going to wilt, so let's just hurry up and go home! The key word being hurry up. It makes me crazy to have to jolly you along from a snail's pace!

Love,

Your mum

Hope Springs Eternal

2011-07-15T06:41:00.001-04:00

A friend of mine, who last year suddenly lost her service dog, Hope, to stomach cancer, has started a blog to assist her in fundraising for a successor service dog. She is an artist and has designed an original linocut of her golden retriever service dog, Hope, and is selling one-of-a-kind prints of that linocut. Her work is gorgeous and all donations over $25 are tax deductible.

If people would be willing to pass the word along about her fundraising efforts, it would be greatly appreciated. Her blog is: http://blog.workndog.org/hopesclan/

Tom says...

2011-07-14T17:20:00.000-04:00

"We can go to IKEA anytime, they have defined pathways! I like it there! Jordan's Furniture? Not so much..."

Fun morning out furniture shopping with my aunt, gram, cousin and Tom. Couch shopping at Jordan's completely mystified Tom (it's ok, James thought it was confusing as well). He totally couldn't wrap his head around why I kept moving to different couches to try them out. IKEA was much more his style since they give shoppers an actual pathway to follow through the store. Tom was all over that. Now he's tired, I'm pretty fried and we're spending a quiet evening at home.

"Corgi, I know your kind!"

2011-07-14T08:34:00.000-04:00

The title is a commonly uttered phrase around this house. "Corgi! Get out of the fridge, I know your kind!" "Monty! Get off the chair, I know your kind!" Etc, etc. The Corgi is a food hound (he's a resource guarder, of course he's a food hound!) and when he's in one of his grouchy, bastard moods, as he has been for the past couple of days, he tends to get himself in trouble. Sticking his nose in the fridge, hoping he can steal a snack; putting his feet up on kitchen chairs, hoping he can reach the table; perusing the dog room gate, hoping he can find something to munch. With this little Mont-ster, one always has to have eyes in the back of one's head. Lately his argument with me has been "I want to eat grass, not come inside!! I'm going to EAT GRASS!!" (stomping his feet, the way only a corgi can) and my portion of the argument goes, (said etremely patiently), "No, Monty, you're going to come inside." And then I go get him and he grouches, but he does come inside.

Monty's worse than a teenager when it comes to mood swings. Sometimes he's happy go-lucky corgi, and sometimes he's grouch-o corgi. Eh, either way, he's lovable and wouldn't trade him for the world. I just hope his mood improves before I ship him off to my parent's house for a weekend later this month when I'm going away! They don't find his bastard days quite so amusing. LOL

limeade & Tom's 1st "swim"

2011-07-13T12:37:00.000-04:00

Last year my aunt & uncle bought a house on a lake that they are fixing up. This their 1st summer at this house; Tom and I have been over a couple of times, but on those times before he didn't seem to want to go in the water. Now compared to all of my past retrievers, having a retriever who is not a water nut is a change. Regal you couldn't even drive over a bridge that spanned water without him looking excitedly out the car window, going, "Can I go swimming?!"

Yesterday it was super hot and humid here. 90+ something degrees F and just so, so humid. It was really quite gross. My gram, Tom and I ran some errands then went over to my aunt's to hang out by the water. Because Tom doesn't really handle the heat well, I knew if he just went swimming he would cool off and feel so much better, but he didn't want to on his own. The entrance to the lake isn't a sloping entrance, instead there are cement steps leading into the water. At the last step the water drops off to about 2' deep. Tom really didn't want to step off that last step into the drop of water. Finally, with some convincing though I got him to step off and he went, "OH! I can still touch bottom?!" and then he was all happy. He didn't exactly go "swimming" since he never left the spots where he could touch bottom, be he did get all wet and was able to cool off and that made him ohhhhh so happy!!!! He got out of the water and ran around like a crazy dog all over the patio. Running, running, running going "THIS IS SO MUCH FUN!!! I AM SO HAPPY!!!" LOL it takes so little to make a dog's day! After that he was happy to go in and out of the water, having a blast. I think the only way I'll get him to actually swim is if I go in the water with him, I don't really like to swim so we shall see if that ever happens.

Then today I made up some limeade that came out very delicious and refreshing. I squeezed 5 limes in to a 2 quart pitcher, added water and 1 cup of agave nectar and wa-la- limeade! So simple yet so good!!!

Half way through the summer and things are going well. When Tom and I were out running errands this morning the though crossed my mind that last year this time my dog had just been diagnosed terminal cancer and there was so much stress. Such a stark difference from this summer. Never ceases to amaze me what a difference a little bit of time can make.

joy

2011-07-11T08:34:00.001-04:00

One of my big concerns when going to GDF to get my new dog was- how will this dog fit into the pack. Having already lived through a year of massive stress in the pack when I brought Obi home, I really didn't want to go through that ever again. I don't know if it was Obi's seizures or just his uber-playful and gregarious personality, but living with Obi stressed Niche out to the max. To the point that I had dog fights, Niche was that stressed all the time. Prior to bringing Obi home the dog pack had been stable and within 2 months of Obi going to his new home, the dog pack was once again stable. That year that Obi lived with us was so, so stressful for all of us. The home I placed him in is so much better for him as his mum loves him and his dog-sister loves him and he is not surrounded by stress anymore.

When Jess came into the picture, Niche was happy. Niche adored that Labrador. And she loved him. Jess also taught Niche how to play. She accepted his very behaviorally warped attempts at play and she taught him that he could play and she helped shape his behavior into a more dog socially accepted form of play. Before Jess, Niche had never actively played with another dog. He had never seemed to want to play with another dog in all the years that I'd had him, but Jess would entice him to play and he would reciprocate. I have videos of them playing when Jess 1st arrived and in it you can see how off Niche's attempts at play are, ones that most dogs would take offense at, but Jess did not. And I have videos from about 3 or 4 months later of Niche playing with Jess and he actually reciprocates play like a "normal" dog. Jess brought Niche so much happiness and helped him so much, just by teaching him how to play with other dogs.

When it came time to introduce Tom to the pack of Niche and Monty, I wasn't exactly sure how Niche would take it. Here was a large, male, nearly adult dog coming into the picture. I had them all meet outside in my fenced yard, off-leash, through the gate at 1st, then loose together in the yard. Within just a few minutes, Tom very nicely asked Niche if he wanted to play with an appropriate play-bow. And to my joy, Niche reciprocated. Since then the two have developed a lovely relationship. It makes me so happy to watch them play chase in the yard, or share the wubba or play bite-face in the house. Niche is happy, he's not stressed, Tom is his friend and his house and pack-mate, they get on beautifully.

I do not think that adding Tom into my house would have gone so well, had Jess not come and taught Niche how to play. I also think it helps tremendously that Tom came to me a very mentally mature dog. He's not constantly trying to get the adult dogs to play, he's content to hang with them, snoozing on the dog bed or wandering around the yard. He respects their space and they respect his. Within just a few days of all the boys meeting and living together, I knew the pack was once again stable. Tom is the right dog for my little family in so many ways and it just makes me so happy, it brings me so much joy that all of my dogs are content.

a really awesome Tom behavior

2011-07-09T07:43:00.000-04:00

So I'm assuming Tom's puppy raisers taught him this. I have no idea if all Foundation PRs are instructed to teach their charges this, but I have to say it's a really nice behavior he came to me with.

In order to get outside to the back yard, my dogs and I have to go through the kitchen. So it's not like my kitchen is in any remote way "off limits" to the dogs. Tom has no issues going into the kitchen when I'm taking the dogs out or when he wants to lay on the linoleum, but if I go into the kitchen and open the fridge, or open a cabinet or go to the sink and turn on the water, he immediately relocates himself to laying in the living room on the floor against the couch. He does the same thing anytime I go to sit down at the kitchen table. Immediate relocation to a down by the couch, no matter where else he may have been in the house at the time I start to do any of those things.

Someone pretty obviously taught him that "no dogs in the kitchen when someone is cooking" is a rule. And I have to say it's a really nice perk to this dog. He doesn't beg at the table and he's not acting like a starving shark being underfoot when I'm cooking. Actually Tom is rarely underfoot, which is also very nice as he's a very large dog and him being underfoot would mean I'd be tripping over him left and right. About the only time I ever find myself having to be careful not to step on him is if I get up in the middle of the night as he likes to sleep lying on the floor against the side of my bed and he takes up most of the open floor space in the bedroom doing that. The rest of the day he generally is either against the couch or on the dog bed in the living room that is against the wall, rarely is he in the middle of the house's floor space where I would trip over him. Again really nice behaviors and perks that Tom came with. Really nice.

you might catch flies with honey...

2011-07-08T17:57:00.001-04:00

but according to many different sources it takes molasses to catch crickets! So I'm giving it a try!

Currently crickets are one bane of my existence, or at least preventing me from getting a good night's sleep. They're outside of my house, outside of my bedroom windows. "CHIRP, CHIRP, CHIRP" allllllll night long. For the past week I've slept on the couch since at least the couch is against an interior wall, whereas my bed is against 2 exterior walls. So today I googled "getting rid of outdoor crickets" and among the list of things to try besides pesticides (that are toxic to people and dogs, so ain't gonna go that route) was the info that crickets like molasses. So I filled up the bottom of some old hummus containers and put my little traps out in 3 places around my bedroom outside. Now I cross my fingers and hope I catch some of the buggers! Let's see if I start getting some sleep!

Ed to add- THIS REALLY DOES WORK!!! I checked my traps this morning and in them were CRICKETS!!!! So cool!!!!!!!!! Makes me so very, very happy!! Went out and got more molasses this afternoon! Totally inexpensive household trick that WORKS!!! :-)

Catch Up Post

2011-07-07T15:28:00.000-04:00

Well lots has gone on in the past 24hrs. For starters Holly's cardi Snickers had 11 puppies!! ELEVEN!!!! Meaning sometime in early August I'm going to have ELEVEN puppies in my house! For a MONTH!!!! Yikes! LOL About a year ago Holly asked me if I'd take her next litter from age 4-5wks till they were ready to go home so that she could take a trip. I thought it'd be a fun experience since that age is my favorite age of a litter, so said sure. Now I learn I'm getting ELEVEN of them! hahahaha!!! Gonna be a crazy time!

And then today my computer decided it was VERY unhappy. :-( So it is going to the repair shop tomorrow when I can get a ride there. I would try to walk to the closer one but it's like 100' out and I'm afraid either Tom or I would pass out, and since I don't really want him to get heat stroke, we'll wait till tomorrow when I have a ride. I have an old laptop that I'm working off of, and I am very happy that I was able to install the same version of Office that was on my broken laptop so now I can actually read the files that are on the external hard drive that I need for work on this old machine! YAY!! That is awesome!! Makes my day.

Since it has been about 100' out for the past 3 days, unfortunately Tom and I haven't gotten much walking in. Most things around here don't open till 9 or 10am and by then it's way too hot to walk anywhere to get anything done. Hopefully it will cool off a bit this weekend and we can get some stuff done.

I also asked Dr Anne yesterday what kinds of exercises are safe for Tom to do right now to help strengthen his rear. She said he can do back ups and moving from a sit to a stand, so we have done that twice today outside in the shade. This morning we just did it in the yard, I had him do sit-stand 10x and had him do back up for about 5 steps 6x. This afternoon we did the same but I had him do on the ramp that I have going from my porch to the dog yard. He had to back up the ramp and he had to do sit-stand going down the ramp. Hopefully these things will help him get some strength and balanced muscles in his rear, maybe help his agility as well as he is certainly not the most agile dog in the world, at least not what I am used to living with Niche for example.

Dear Tom,

2011-07-06T11:32:00.000-04:00

Dear Tom,

When there is a dog running at you, it is generally best to move out of the way. As you should have figured out by now, being slammed by the 50# dog you are playing with, hurts a lot, and is really not good for your body! I love you dearly, but really am getting tired of the repeat drives to see Dr Anne to put your body back together. I know you love playing with your friends, but taking the hits like you do, really isn't a very much fun part of the game. Next time, just take a 3 steps forward and you won't get slammed.

Love,

Your mum

good day at the Canal

2011-07-03T19:50:00.001-04:00

After teaching a handful of lessons this morning and my father FINISHING my basement!!!!!! (WHOO HOOO!!!!! Well the unfinished half still needs to be insulated, BUT I have a CEILING!!!!) my parents, Tom and I headed down 495 to the cape to the Cape Cod Canal. We went to the east side of the canal this time for the 1st time ever. I have to say that I much, much prefer this side of the canal as opposed to where we always go as this side had way better walking places and a very nice typical New England rocky beach, which was fun to walk barefoot on.

My mum, Tom and I did a good amount of walking on the various paths along the water while my father spent some time fishing for stripers off the jetty. It was slack tide, so no, he didn't catch anything. It was overcast and cloudy, so not too hot though it was a bit muggy. Tom got hotter than I did, not exactly sure why he was panting as much as he was, though I have kind of figured out that he's just a dog that pants a lot when he's working, and it's not indicative of how hot he actually is, which I have to tell you can be very misleading! So we walked until I thought he needed a drink, then went back to the car where his water dish was. My old canvas dog water dish from the 1999 FCRSA specialty finally sadly bit the dust and wasn't really holding water well anymore, so I recently decided to try a silicone water dish for Tom instead. I got this one off Amazon in sun orange (so I can easily find it no matter where it is!) and so far Tom gives it 2 paws up. In the old canvas dish it seemed that he was never really able to actually drink much, no matter how hard he tried. In this dish he had a much easier time and actually was able to drink near an entire bowl full. And it was very easy to dry out. It is a bit heavy weight, weighs more than the canvas one did, but like I said Tom seems to like it better.

After Tom's drink, we all then walked across the street to Seafood Sam's where I had a very good lobster salad. Even though this is a very busy and large place I found it actually very sensory friendly as surprisingly enough they did not have any background music going! And the way it was set up there were no glaring bright lights and the decor colors were not too bright either. The only sensory issue I started to have was standing in line waiting to place our order, they had a fan going that made the overhead lights flicker, so my parents simply stood in line while I went and found us a table. It was actually a very pleasant dining experience! YAY!!

Overall it was an excellent afternoon and I came home with a very tired dog! Always a good thing!

healthy weight

2011-07-02T06:52:00.001-04:00

On Thursday when Tom and I went into Boston, I put his Cool Coat on as the temps were supposed to be in the 80's and I wasn't sure how much walking around we'd be doing and I didn't want him to get hot and be uncomfortable. When I put the white coat on over his black body, I went "Whoa! He's skinny now!!" It wasn't until that moment that I realized how good he looks now and that he's at a much more healthy body weight than when I got him in May. I'm not sure how much he weighs pound wise, I plan to take him to the vet in early August when Niche has to go as well and weigh him then, but my guess is he's in the low to mid 60's now instead of the mid-70's he was when they gave him to me. He still has a little heft around his ribs, but at least now he has a nice svelte hour-glass figure and good tuck up.

Every day I use my little 2# kitchen scale to weigh out his food. In the morning he gets about a 1/4# of beef liver, 1/4-1/3# of ground hamburger, a handful of cooked veggies (that changes based on what I get in my CSA share that week), a multivitamin, 2 Tbs coconut oil, and a joint supplement capsule. In the evening he gets a 1/2-3/4# of raw lamb bones. I would love to give him more protein variety, but his food allergies rather limit that at the moment. I think the lack of grains in his diet have also contributed to his weight loss, the food he was being fed by GDF was so grain heavy and most of that was corn.

I will most likely keep him on raw through the end of the summer, until my freezer is once again empty, then switch him over to the one kibble food I have found that has ingredients he can currently eat- Natural Balance L.I.D. lamb and rice. Feeding raw to him long term, as much as I would like to do it, just isn't as affordable as kibble nor as easy to take him places with. Next year I am probably going to be doing more out of state/country traveling with my family, as well as weekend trips to visit friends or family, and it's just so much easier to have a kibble dog when you are doing that. In the mean time though, Tom thoroughly enjoys his raw meals.

2 months!

2011-06-30T07:40:00.000-04:00

just realized that 2 days ago I've been 2 months with no migraines and limited fibro pain!! YAY!!! Tomorrow I get to start testing the waters more and start slowly coming off the preventative migraine med! I will be very happy if I am able to get off of the verapamil! Rather amazing what changes in eating habits and food choices can make! :-)

Busy day

2011-06-29T13:23:00.001-04:00

Seems like life has been endlessly busy lately and on days when it's not busy, I'm so brain dead I can't enjoy it! LOL But I've been enjoying the business for the most part. Work has been unusually busy for this time of year. Generally my busiest time is late March through mid May when all of the Christmas puppies reach that hellion age. This year business picked up then, but with longer term behavior clients and not many puppies (very unusual) and it just hasn't sloughed off and we're now almost into July. This is a good thing for the most part, though I have had to really evaluate my calendar and specifically block of "work" and "no work" times so that I don't burn myself out. Trying to be pro-active this time around, always a good thing.

I am also very excited because in the past couple of weeks I have started a new venture for my business- offering a board and train service to clients who may not be able to make group classes or private lessons or who want to get some additional intensive training on their dog for a couple of weeks. There is a kennel across the street from me and I worked out a deal with the owner where the dogs in the board and train can stay in his kennel and I just go over on a daily basis to work with the dog on skills. Then once the training period is over, the owners work with me in a couple of private lessons to transition the training over to them. What makes this even more exciting is on Saturday my 1st dog is coming in for that service! Well I've done a couple of board and trains in the past, but all of those involved the dog living with me 24/7 in my home which gets wearing on my own dogs, my house and me, so hopefully this gig with the kennel will work out better.

Tomorrow Tom and I head into Boston for the morning to participate in some research being done at the MIT Media Lab. Has to do with autistic adults and sensory processing disorders from what I understand. Hopefully that will go well. Looking forward to seeing the lab as I have heard good things about it.

So lots going on, and most of it good stuff! :-)

for the record

2011-06-26T16:24:00.000-04:00

golden puppies are still The. Cutest. Puppies. On. Earth! "HE'S SO FLUFFY!!!!" LOL God I love teaching puppy class! :-)

Confidence

2011-06-25T12:30:00.000-04:00

Brilliant Mind, Broken Body is hosting this July's Assistance Dog Blog Carnival and the theme is "The Difference." There are lots of difference ideas I could be writing about, but since I have recently re-entered an assistance dog partnership with Tom, after going 10 months without a service dog, I want to write about something that my sister and I were recently talking about-dog vs. cane travel

When I have a guide dog with me, I generally get very few inquiries from strangers asking me if I need help; when I had a cane I would get asked that nearly every single time I traveled into a public area alone. With a cane people in the grocery store would ask me if I needed help finding something or someone would ask me if I needed help crossing the street. Now that I go out with Tom, and when I went out with James for the years before, I very, very rarely have interactions with the public that involve them asking me if I need assistance.

I think much of this is how I carry myself when I am using a dog vs. a cane. With a dog I am confident. I feel in control of my surroundings, the environment and situation. When I give Tom a command, I am sure of what I am asking him to do. I stand up straight and when I step forward it is quickly and deftly. I know what I am doing and what I want to accomplish. I know I am a very capable handler of a dog, and I trust that my dog is skilled and we can work through any problem that presents. I am confident.

With a cane, I am more unsure. I don't move as quickly and deftly simply due to the nature of cane travel. I tend not to stand up straight and hold myself more tightly together, trying to feel more connected in space. With a cane, the only one I can depend on is myself and if I make a mistake the consequences could be very dire. There is no safety-catch, I have no back up. I take longer to make decisions because of this and I am always cognizant that it would not take much for things to go badly.

People see me with a cane and they see me as helpless, not capable. While I do not feel helpless with a cane, I do feel less capable. I am not as confident or good a cane traveler as I am a dog handler. I worked a dog 7 years before I ever learned how to work a cane. Such is the nature of how my life worked and the services available.

To me a cane is a mobility device, a dog is safety. That is what it really comes down to- with a dog I feel safe, with a cane I do not. My dog has my back, if I make a wrong judgement or decision, it doesn't mean it will become a life or death situation. With a cane it easily can. A dog can make decisions on his own, as well as support decisions I make. A cane, is well, simply a compilation of metals and string, it makes no decision I do not tell it to make.

With a dog at my side I become a person sure of where she is going and what she wants to accomplish. We move faster than most people walk and Tom is as confident as I am. He is as sure of his decisions and the directions I give him as I am giving them to him. We don't look or act helpless, and people see us as capable, simply because that is what we are. The difference between dog and cane is the me the world sees. Together Tom and I are confident and those surrounding us agree.

under construction

2011-06-25T08:19:00.001-04:00

My house has been under construction since last Sat. On Sat, while I was conveniently "not home" (the status that I attempt to be any time there is work done on my house), workmen installed the new central air machine. YAY for this since it means I conceivably never have to turn on a box fan or open a window in this house ever again! That is double YAY because every summer, when it gets hot enough that I do have to open windows and turn on box fans, I then spend 2 months not sleeping and in overload not able to function for large chunks of each day and I have to tell you every single year that SUCKS! This year that started to happen again, and I said, "screw it, I'm installing central air." This new addition to my home will be 110% worth the money I invested in it in the years to come. Sleep is a good thing!

Well in the process of installing that central air machine, the workmen had to take down a number of ceiling panels in the finished half of the basement. Now because this basement was finished by the past owner's boy scout son (whose motto it seemed was "when in doubt, hammer another nail"), putting the ceiling panels back as is was going to be a rather complex endeavor, so my father decided that he would spend his week off of work taking apart my basement, insulating the ceiling in the basement and then installing a new drop ceiling. He estimated he could have it done in 3 days.

Well we are now on day #5 and the project is still not finished. There were a number of complications in this project such as leaking gas pipes, leaking water pipes, a large framed section of the ceiling not being supported properly and needing to be taken apart, remade and reinstalled, etc, etc, etc. Starting yesterday afternoon, my uncle came over to help my father, which made the project go faster but as I said above we are now on day 5, my father has been in my basement since 7am this morning and well, not really sure when it's going to be finished.

I keep giving him deadlines going, "I need to teach in here by..." and those deadlines keep having to get adjusted. Yesterday I taught lessons out in the yard, this morning a lesson had to get canceled because it is raining and I do not obviously have access to my basement to teach in, no idea what will happen with my afternoon lesson at this very moment or my tomorrow lessons. I am not the most flexible person in the world, not do I do well when my stuff is "MOVED!!" so needless to say this construction project has been fairly stressful and I will be very happy when it is finished. I know the finished product will look terrific since my father pays meticulous attention to details, so I just keep holding on to that thought and hope it is done soon.

1 very good dog + 1 GPS = 1 awesome overnight!

2011-06-18T18:08:00.001-04:00

Tom and I are home from what was an excellent 30 hours. Combine one awesome dog and one handheld GPS and it creates on super low stress traveling experience for me.

The last time I traveled alone to Salem on the train, when I finally got to my sister's apartment in Salem, I was completely fried and sensory overloaded. And on that trip my sister had met me in North Station, taken the N. Station to Salem train with me, then walked me the mile to her apartment. I was still completely exhausted by the time we got there.

Whereas yesterday Tom and I traveled alone to my sister's apartment in Salem and when I got there I functional, pretty much stress-free and was able to have a good evening. Tom and I did the route from South Station to North Station on the subway last month with Greg and I swear to god that Tom remembered the whole thing. This dog has a phenomenal memory. When we got to South Station all I had to tell Tom once we were inside was "find the escalator" and he knew exactly where to go. Into the subway we went, Tom took me to the right escalator then staircases to get to the correct subway train, then when we had to switch lines, he knew exactly where to go to find the correct escalator and subway platform. The thing that exhausts me most when I travel is the degree that I need to hyper-focus to stay on route and not get disoriented or lost, trying to tune out all of the commotion and hubub that is involved in city travel. Yesterday I didn't have to do that at all. Tom took care of all of the details of getting from one station to the next. He was flawless and it was a huge help to me.

My sister was unable to meet us at the Salem station since she was still in class, but the GPS in my blackberry was a wonderful tool. Using the GPS I again didn't have to hyper-focus at all on the route. The GPS helped to keep me oriented and told me where to turn and how far I had till I needed to turn and such. It was awesome.

I had a lovely evening at my sister's, spent the night on her couch and then this morning we took the train back into Boston to spend the day on Spectacle Island, one of the Boston Harbor Islands. Today was their kick-off summer day and they were having a road race on the island. A bunch of my sister's friends were there for the day as well. We walked around the island a bunch, cheered on the road race participants and generally had a nice time.

Overall I would say the trip was a great success. I am very lucky to have such a terrific partner in Tom.

time for a blog change

2011-06-16T17:02:00.000-04:00

Switching to greens and Niche gets the header. Photo from his hunt training days when he was about 3 years old. He does so adore hunting, unfortunately his allergies don't love hunting (nor really does his mother...). Such a joy watching dogs do what they were bred to do!

bereaurocratic nonsense of AVID microchip company

2011-06-16T14:34:00.002-04:00

Companies that claim to be doing a "do good service," yet through lack of foresight of the end user audience that "do good service" falls decidedly short of doing any good, irritate me a lot. AVID microchip company has such a "do good service" that does indeed fall completely short of doing any good to the end user.

AVID microchip company has a program where they issue free microchips to service and guide dogs. Many service and guide dog programs in the US participate in this program. GDF is a program that participates, and as a result, Tom was implanted with an AVID microchip months before I ever met him and took him home. AVID makes 2 types of microchips to be implanted in dogs. They have their AVID Secure Chip and their AVID Euro Chip. The AVID Secure chips is a fairly limited use chip. It can only be read by certain microchip scanners, and it is not an ISO standard chip. Their AVID Euro chip, is a chip that is ISO standard and therefore can be read by all microchip scanners.

In order for a dog to be exported to many countries outside of the USA, it is a requirement by the country that the dog be implanted with an ISO standard microchip. Many countries require that the dog be implanted with this ISO standard chip a certain length of time before the dog is exported, or before certain medical proceedures required for export are done.

Service and guide dog users, many travel outside of the US for work or for pleasure. Many require the service of their assistance animal when they travel abroad. In order for the dog to travel with them, the dog needs to have an ISO standard microchip implanted or if the dog is implanted with a non-ISO standard microchip, the assistance dog user must have in their possession a scanner that can read the non-ISO standard chip implanted in their dog at the time they arrive in the foreign country.

If a microchip company makes an ISO standard microchip, and plans to market it to assistance dog users as a free "do good service" one would logically expect then that they would indeed offer their international standard ISO microchip, correct? Well when it comes to the AVID microchip company, you would be absolutely wrong. Through massive lack of foresight and usefulness of their product to the end user, the assistance dog handler, AVID microchip company issues only their AVID Secure microchip, their non-ISO standard chip, in this "do good" service dog program.

Because of this lack of foresight, the assistance dog handler who wishes to travel abroad with their assistance dog, now must either 1. remicrochip their dog at their expense with an ISO standard chip, which has the ability to create confusion should a scanner be able to pick up on both chips, or 2. purchase or rent a scanner that can read the limited AVID Secure chip when they plan to export their dog. These scanners are rather expensive (over $150 to purchase outright) and one would think the $30 per month rental fee that AVID charges to rent a scanner would be reasonable, that is until you learn from the company that they expect a deposit of $200+ that they hold on to until you return their scanner to them, at which point they will refund your deposit.

If someone at AVID had simply looked at what the end user of their product intends to do with the dog implanted with their chip, they would have easily seen that implanting dogs in this free "do good service" with the ISO standard AVID Euro chip would have made more logical sense. But alas, bureaucracy strikes again.

my dogs have no idea what is in store for them...

2011-06-16T12:16:00.000-04:00

Come August, either they're going to love me, or they're going to disown me.........

http://tailsofvisions.blogspot.com/2011/06/puppies-due-july-6.html

(and no I'm not keeping one....)

Love this dog!!

2011-06-15T09:09:00.000-04:00

Today I introduced Tom to the teeter-totter and the A-frame. God I love this dog! He was confident and happy to go over both obstacles, no resistance or fear or apprehension what so ever. What a good boy!! Yesterday one of my students and I taught him to run through the tunnel and this morning we practiced it some more in the yard. While Tom will most likely never be an agility dog (he doesn't have the conformation for it, he's cow-hocked and bow-legged; asking him to do a high impact sport like agility would not be fair nor safe for his body long term), it is still good for him to be exposed and learn to have fun with some of the obstacles. Since I have a course in my backyard, and a course at the indoor, it's easy to do low-impact agility with Tom and have some fun with it. Agility is great for enhancing the bond and communication with a dog through teamwork, and that is something every dog and handler can benefit from.

gluten free, sugar free ginger snaps- attempt #2 & 3

2011-06-12T07:40:00.000-04:00

So after doing some thinking, this morning I made batch #2 & 3 of gluten free ginger snaps. I tried modifying the recipe that gluten free girl gave in these ways:

3/4 cup butter
1 cup agave nectar (instead of 2 cups white sugar)
2 eggs
1/2 cup molasses (I tried it with just 1/4c but tasted the batter and it just wasn't right, so added in the full 1/2c GF girl's recipe called for)
4 1/2 c Gluten Free Pantry's GF flour (instead if 3 3/4 homemade feather light flour mix)
omitted 1tsp xantham gum as it was in the flour already
added in 4 grinds of sea salt
1 1/2 tsp baking soda
2 tsp apple cider vinegar
3 tsp ground ginger (instead of 2 tsp)
1 tsp ground cinnamon (instead of 1/2 tsp)
1/4 tsp ground cloves

I wish I could get rid of the molasses this recipe calls for. I found on the Delectably Free blog a recipe for ginger snaps that calls for yacon syrup. The author there says yacon gives the taste and color of molasses. It is incredibly expensive on Amazon ($17 for a 13oz bottle) and it is not eligible for the free super saver shipping so I'm asking a friend if she can find it at a Trader Joe's for me so I don't have to pay $5 for shipping.

I found that these cookies needed to cook a bit longer than the called for 10-12min at 350'F. Mine cooked for about 15min and they crackled very nicely even without being rolled in white sugar.

The 1st dozen cookies I made I made with only 1 egg, 2/3 c agave and 4c flour. They came out super dry and tasteless, so then I beat in a 2nd egg, another 1/3c agave and another 1/2c GF flour into the batter. After letting that sit a while, I cooked the 2nd dozen. These ones came out tasting more like the ginger snaps I am used to. One thing I found interesting is that these cookies with the agave and with the salt didn't flatten even in my wonky oven the way cookies tend to do. They stayed in tight little balls that crackled. It was an interesting and fun morning trying to make these cookies work, and I would say my efforts were a success!

well think it's official...

2011-06-11T17:32:00.001-04:00

refined sugar makes me feel like crap. Ugh. After eating those lovely ginger snaps I felt like crap. And today after having a root beer float with my father's home made root beer (which has essentially nothing in it but sugar, CO2 and flavoring, no HFCS, no caffeine and no yeast), I have felt like crap. Right now it's "how much water can I drink to flush the sugar out of my system faster." Ugh. The good news is that, at least when baking, I found a conversion from white and brown sugar to agava nectar, which I am pretty sure I can eat and not feel like crap (at least I haven't felt like crap the 3 or 4 times I've made berry sorbet with agava and honey in it, though if you're going to make that super easy recipe I recommend halving the called for amount of agava, with the 2 cups it was so sweet it wouldn't freeze beyond a slush. My perfect batch ended up being 1/2 cup of agava and a 1/3 cup of honey). Honey or pure maple syrup can be a good substitute as well. So next batch of ginger snaps I'm going to give that a try, because I am so not giving up on the ginger snaps yet!! LOL

And today I once again re-discovered the loveliness of a vegetable steamer. I love steamed carrots with a bit of sea salt (one of the few foods I like slightly salted), but have never actually made them myself. They are so super easy with a steamer and came out wonderful! Good thing I currently have a 5# bag of carrots gracing my fridge, between Tom and me we'll be through them in no time!

There is no dog news other than the weather here has been crap so Tom and I got out very little all week. It was insanely hot for a good chunk of the week and then today it's been raining and 55'F. Gee, I must live in New England where it can go from being 100 to 55'F all in 24hrs! Woowee. Gotta love it, or else I'd move. :-) This week it is supposedly going to be more reasonable temperature and weather wise, which is good since we've got things to do and places to go!

Good week so far

2011-06-08T08:46:00.000-04:00

I know it's only Wed morning but so far this has been an excellent week :-)

On Sunday I had an awesome class with one of my group manners students. This student and I haven't been communicating very well for the prior weeks of the class and both seemed to leave the hour long class frustrated. Well on this past Sunday, we had a great class and both of us left pretty happy and satisfied. Her dog worked incredibly well for her, the best he has done all session and we found a training aid that seemed to work beautifully for his focus and leash manners. It was just a really great hour.

On Monday Tom and I had a fantastic walk to pick up my CSA vegetables then up the hill to my mum's work. I mean it was just a terrific walk. I felt like Tom and I were really working together and honestly like I've had this dog for a lifetime and not just 5 weeks. Tom's guiding couldn't have been more perfect and everything was just smooth and effortless, it was really great.

Yesterday, I brought Tom to the indoor where I teach agility classes and he was really good on tie down. On Sunday I had him on tie down in the day care during manners class, and he was very unhappy. Whining and crying and overall very stressed that he was on tie down. I wanted to work more on this with him (we're also working on him having less stress when crated as well. If he's loose in the house or in a room he doesn't get concerned at all that I'm gone, if he's more confined he does) so put him on tie down last night. It was a longer 6' tie down, whereas on Sun he was on a 2' tie down and last night he was fine. Not worried or stressed or crying at all. So that was really good.

Then also last night we went to BJ's and then today we went to Shaws to go grocery shopping and in both stores Tom had a better "indoor" speed and actually did well with the shopping! Usually in stores he prefers to go his fast "outdoor" speed but that isn't very contusive to shopping and then he gets somewhat put off when I stop to shop or we get stuck behind some slow person with a cart. Yesterday and this morning though he was awesome in the stores, he's learning that they are different than outside and there is a different way to handle them which makes me happy! :-)

Also yesterday I realized that I have lived in my house for exactly 3 years!! For a venture that no one was really sure would work, it has gone exceedingly well! And my ginger snaps came out delicious. YAY!! :-)

Forays into Gluten Free Baking- Part 2: Ginger Snaps

2011-06-06T13:31:00.002-04:00

It's not often that I get actual food cravings, more often I get texture cravings. And the most often texture craving is crunchy. Crispy, crunchy and it has to be something that fits "crunchy" sans vegetable, so carrots don't cut it. Since going gluten free there has been a decided lack of foods that fit the crunchy definition in my life and lately I have totally been craving it. The corn flakes I eat for breakfast come about as close as I can get to crunchy on a routine basis. Corn chips come close as well but I find those tend to lack any flavor along with crunchy and they are often times too salty for my tastes.

Since the GF apple spice muffins I have now made twice have been a success, I figured I would traverse the Internet for a GF ginger snap recipe to see if it would fill the crunchy void. I was successful with that search and came across this recipe on the gluten free girl and the chef blog. The recipe was super easy to make, though I didn't make my own flour as the recipe suggest but just used the pre-made Gluten Free Pantry flour I had in my fridge from the grocery store. The one down side to ginger snaps that I had forgotten about is that the dough does best when refrigerated 24hrs, so currently I have a bowl of the stuff sitting in my fridge waiting for me to get off work tomorrow morning. If the batter has anything to say about these cookies, they will be delicious! I could eat the batter by the spoonful! LOL (the one downside to these cookies is they use rather a lot of refined white sugar- 2 cups per batch. I wasn't able to find a good GF and refined sugar free recipe, so am giving these ones a go and will see how I feel after eating them)

The diet I am now following, though it can be a challenge if I eat outside of my home, has totally been having big pay offs. On Wed I will have gone SIX WEEKS without a migraine! And really I feel great. I have also discovered (and found data to back this up) that my fibro pain and flares have also probably been to some degree diet related, as since eliminating all of my food intolerance's from my diet, I haven't been hurting. Like can walk 5+ miles per day, for days in a row, and I don't hurt. That has been completely unheard of in the past 4 years since I was diagnosed. Unheard of. And it's really pretty damn awesome!! And really following this diet isn't all that much of a pain. My kitchen is safe for me, I know what I can and can't eat and my grocery store has a terrific natural foods and GF section as well as good produce and meat departments, I have meals I can cook fairly simply that are safe to eat and I like. If I go out with my family generally steak or salad with grilled chicken is safe, so I just eat that, and really it's not that difficult. As long as I'm careful, it's actually pretty simple to stay on diet and feeling good. Really how I feel every day since I've started this is enough to stay on diet. It's really worth it in both the short and long run.

Tom says...

2011-06-06T10:19:00.000-04:00

"I never thought life could get this good!!!"

Tom's 1st Dog Show

2011-06-05T11:56:00.001-04:00

Yesterday we had more visitors! Holly came to visit Julie for a dog show, so Tom and I went over to her house for dinner last night. Today Julie is showing Holly's puppy bitch, Hush, at the dog show, so last night we went over to watch the tail end of groups, Best In Show, and to get Hush acclimated to the show grounds.

The shows are held in a large grass fair grounds type field, and with all of the dogs there all day there are of course many, many, many good smells. I was very happy with how Tom behaved the entire time we were there. His guide work around the show was excellent and he wasn't dog distracted at all. That was beyond fantastic and made me very happy.

While we were watching Best In Show, Tom just lay at my feet chilling. I was happy with the dog the judge picked for best in show. I was fairly appalled at the vast majority of the dogs in the BIS lineup. Out of the 7 dogs only 2 had movement worthy of being in that ring- the beardie and the Irish terrier. The Irish was probably a nicer dog than the beardie but he was highly over stimulated and his handler made him look bad moving around the ring. The beardie did win the show though, which was good, he deserved to win. Was a very nice dog.

We had a nice hour or so at the show, then headed back to Julie's for a very nice dinner. Was great to see Holly again and meet her new pup. Was a good afternoon all around. :-)

Why I use Advantix

2011-06-04T07:25:00.000-04:00

3 short words: Dead Deer Ticks.

This week my friend, Maribeth, drove up from PA for a visit with her dogs. We had a lovely time just hanging around the house, but on Thursday we did take the dogs for an off-leash romp in the Lane Property. This was Tom's 2nd off-leash romp in the woods, the week before we had gone out with my mum and Pauli. So far Tom has been excellent in the woods, he mostly stays on the trail and stops or returns to me when ever he gets about 50' ahead of me. His recalls have also been excellent and held up same as they have at home.

In the Lane Property we start the walk by going through a large hilly field. They had recently mowed this field, so there was lots of short stubbly grasses as we went down the big sloping hill. All 7 dogs had a great time racing around. When we got to the bottom of the hill, Niche decided to go swimming in the lake that borders most of the walk. Actually for nearly all of the walk, Niche loves to go racing through the woods to go swim, then race back to to the trail to check in with me, then race back to the water. He loves the Lane Property because he gets to SWIM! :-)

Then we follow the trail through the woods in a loop that returns back through another field and finally gets to the parking lot. It isn't a very long walk, but the dogs love it and generally come home tired.

Now because New England is currently tick mecca, I always tick check the dogs (and myself!) when we get home. The thing is, deer ticks, are incredibly tiny and hard to find on black and brown dogs, of which I happen to have a lot of! Yesterday, I was petting Monty on the couch and felt a tick. I pulled it off, to find an already dead!! deer tick! This is why I chose to use Advantix over Frontline for tick protection. When I used to use Frontline I was constantly finding live ticks attached to the dogs. Now with the Advantix I only find dead ones! Dead ticks mean not lyme disease or other TBD! And that is always a good thing!!

Good to know that works!!

2011-05-30T09:11:00.000-04:00

This morning Tom and I set off to take a walk, an exploration walk to see if we could find a nice new route to walk. When the street we were walking on's sidewalk ended, I figured I should take a look at the GPS on my blackberry to figure out exactly where we were and the simplest way to get back home. In the process of turning on and using the GPS, I accidentally freaked my family out.

In January after I got massively lost and panicked in a mall, couldn't get ahold of my family, and basically went into massive shut down to the point that I couldn't even communicate to anyone where I was, I found a free app for blackberry called SmartGuard (they also work with other smart phones, not just blackberry). The main thing the app does (which you have to pay for, so I don't use that service) is identity theft protection and data back up, but as an added "bonus" app they have an emergency feature app called Personal Guardian. The way the Personal Guardian works is when you hit the left or right convenience key on your smart phone it triggers an email to be sent, a phone call to be made and a text to be sent to 3 people you pre-designate (or to 911) that sends a message that you need help and also your GPS location at the time of the activation.

So today in the process of turning on the GPS in my blackberry, I accidentally triggered the Personal Guardian app without realizing it. I got a somewhat panicked phone call from my aunt, since she is the one who the app is set to email, making sure I was alright. Luckily I was fine and just going for a walk, but good to know the app works!! This is the 1st time that I've ever triggered the app to go off, so pretty happy that it works and know that it would should I actually really need it.